We all have those days.
Wake up and everything is against you
(or so you think).
you become irrational and get mad at inanimate objects.
This was my morning.
I woke up feeling so inadequate.
So un-equipped.
Broken.
Useless.
Last night, I told parts of my story
to a couple of my teammates
that I'd only ever shared with two other people.
We shared our testimonies month one,
But there was no way I was telling my teammates
my whole story.
That would have been too risky.
They would think I was a freak.
They wouldn't have understood.
They…..
The list goes on.
It all started with each of us talking about
confessions from our past.
of course, it seemed like I was the only one
sharing anything haha.
Anyway, I was hell bent on the fact
that I wasn't going to share certain things with them.
I've carried so much shame over it and
I convinced myself that having pity parties
was better then ever telling anyone else.
How could I let them that close?
Fast forward to my morning.
First of all, I was attacked by a dream.
I can't say it on here,
but let's just say it made my mind go where
it shouldn't have.
I was overwhelmed with the thought of home.
I just wanted to hold someone.
I didn't wanna fight anymore.
I'm so tired of fighting.
Of going through the fire.
The fire sucks.
I sat there, defeated and crying.
To top it all off, I didn't have the
right set of keys, so I just sat
in front of the center were working at
crying my eyes out while Malaysian men
were working all around.
Awesome.
And suddenly, out of nowhere, I stopped,
stood up, and began declaring things.
"I refuse to sit here and have a pity party.
I am a warrior of the King.
I am empowered by Him.
All the smaller battles thus far
have prepared me for this very moment.
The fire refines my body, my soul,
my mind, my weaponry.
Rise up and fight!"
I have no idea how it happened.
It was like someone had suddenly
turned on a switch in me
(I'm just gonna go out on a limb here
and guess that it was Holy Spirit).
We are warriors of the King!
Oh, and in case you were wondering,
my teammates didn't judge me,
didnt think I was weird,
Didn't even blink.
Because guess what?
NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR JUNK.
If they do, thats on them.
Just know that no matter what
your story is, you deserve someone
to listen to you.
To be patient with you as you
struggle to get out the things youve
been hiding for so long.
And one more thing:
Some of you may feel dirty because
of the things you have done or even
what has been done to you.
I break off that lie in the name of Jesus!
You are beautiful, you deserve to be loved,
and the Heavenly Father waits patiently
with his arms wide open, waiting
for his sons and daughters to run to Him!
Don't believe the lies of the enemy.
Dont let him rob you of your joy
and your identity.
If you've got junk, bring it into the light!
Find someone that will listen and help you heal.
And always remember,
"You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you."
-Philippians 4:13
God bless! More posts to come soon 🙂
