India.
I learned child-like faith.
I stepped into a culture that was vastly different than anything I'd ever seen.
i didn't know what to do with myself.
I seriously questioned what I was thinking doing something like the Race.
i had absolutely no idea how to function in community
and felt like a freak that had all these problems that couldn't be solved.
I lived in a ten by ten room with my five teammates.
Each one of us had to eat for three to five for every meal.
We never knew where we were going.
I just had to trust that God had us and knew what he was doing.
Nepal.
I learned what dependence on Him looks like.
Our ministry consisted of hiking up mountains every day,
sometimes ones that were two hours away.
i had to depend on him to get me up those mountains.
Thailand.
He had me tap into my creative side.
i drew a lot of stuff that looked more like someone had vomited ink on a page.
But hey, it was fun.
in that month, I learned a lot about intimacy with Him,
but I also learned that was a lot of junk getting in the way of experiencing him fully.
i had to give up a lot,
but it was worth it.
Malaysia.
was the hardest month by far.
Not ministry wise, but personally.
i had to give up talking to a friend for a while,
because I was considering talking to her more important
than talking to God.
Not fun.
Cambodia.
man. It was amazing.
14 of us were crammed in a tiny house.
Definitely learned about choosing to love
in the midst of craptacular circumstances.
Vietnam.
this is a tough one.
honestly I think the biggest thing I'm learning here
is to be intentional about seeking out ministry.
its waaaay too easy to just sit in the hotel room
and not go out to love on people.
Its honestly a glimpse of what life will be like at home,
And a test of how I'll handle it.
Month 7 is quickly approaching.
I can coast from here on out,
and honestly it'd be pretty easy
(which is scary).
i seriously couldn't have done any of this without God.
And I have so much more to learn its almost laughable.
its like the more you learn,
the more you realize you don't know about Him.
So now I'm faced with a choice:
Risk or complacency.
If I'm being completely honest with you,
there are parts of me that want to coast.
ive had to walk through fire a lot,
and taking a breather sounds extremely appealing.
But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that taking a breather
is like taking a knife to your heart.
maybe that seems dramatic,
but hear me out.
Our soul longs for God,
because He's the only thing that can fill us
and bring about fullness.
so if we're not pursuing that fullness,
everything in us rebels and isn't satisfied until
it finds rest in its rightful place.
So that's where Im at.
Gods inviting me into a season of risk.
A season of proclaiming boldly who he is and believing him for mighty things.
A season of doing things in such a way that I would look stupid if he didn't show up.
I've allowed that fear to keep me from proclaiming who He is.
But no more.
