Debrief.
It's amazing how it always comes
at the perfect time.
The final night, we had a time for anointing.
So the line started to form,
but I wasn't quite ready so I just kinda soaked in
the atmosphere and sang.
As I was standing there and worshipping in the Spirit,
I became insanely aware of how much the Lord loves me,
and how much I still push away his love.
I fell to my knees and began to cry out.
I don't understand why he loves me the wey he does.
And because I don't understand it, I don't embrace it.
I laid down, and from there it was like a dream.
I know that sounds cliche, but I'm serious.
Don't get me wrong, I wasn't slain in the Spirit or anything,
but all I know is that the glory of the Lord fell over me
like a blanket.
As I laid there just weeping, I could tangibly feel Him working.
I always describe it to people as feeling like he's kneeding
ingredients into the dough in the pit of my stomach.
Not only that, but my heart always feels like it's gonna fall out
it's beating so hard.
Just a day prior, I had finished my first ever spoken word poem
(which I hope to post in video from in the next few days!).
It's about warriors in the Kingdom.
At the end, there is a part where Jesus lifts up the kneeling
warriors head and says come with me.
Yeah… I saw that.
Jesus literally laid down in front of me,
looked directly into my eyes,
and lifted up my head.
Talk about a heavenly encounter.
I stood up and went to sit against the wall.
I had no idea what to do.
It was like I was in a haze.
I could see what was going on around me,
but I felt like I couldn't move.
And I just kinda stared.
It was funny in a way.
One of my squadmates saw me
and came up to ask if I was ok.
I explained everything and all he could say was
Ok, I don't really know what to say to that.
Haha.
I was one of the last people to be prayed over.
The first guy, tim, our squad coordinator,
just reminded me of the cloud of glory that led Moses
and that this was just a time to rest in his glory.
Good word.
Next I get to Melina.
She said she saw me as a prism,
and the more transparent I am,
the more people can see the relected rainbow (Christ) in me.
Lizi, my old team leader and new squad leader,
just spoke crazy life about how the Father is so proud
of me and was stoked watching me keep surrendering to him
(which was awesome considering I feel like I suck as a Christian).
Steven, another squad leader, spoke crazy life into me too.
Then I got to Joel, our original squad leader.
He gave me a word that I had received about three years earlier
about me being like a jack in the box right when it springs out,
and that that's the presence I bring when I walk into the room.
Then Alyssa anointed me with oil and prayed blessing over me.
Justin, my fellow squad member also came up to me and felt
like he was supposed to remind me of my beauty,
and also to tell me that he felt the Lord saying that he loves my
bad-assness.
That was legit.
Overall, it was a night filled with the Spirit,
and I legit felt drunk.
I've always been a little skeptical of the whole
"Hey, I'm drunk on the Holy Spirit,"
thinking these people were kooks.
But hey, I'd rather be a kook for Chrsit any day.
