If you don’t know me well I’ll let you in on some not so secrets..
First, I hate being vulnerable.
Second, I hate being looked down upon.
While at camp we were introduced to something called feedback. It’s pretty self explanatory but for the ones out there, like me, I’ll explain it. Basically, you give someone constructive or positive feedback. Positive, to reassure them that they’re doing stuff right. Constructive, to help them correct their wrongs and build them into a better person.. During my teams first feedback we were sat at a table with one of our squad leaders, Shadrach. The feedback went pretty good but no one had much to say and so Shad started telling us things we could give feedback on and how we could give it on ourselves even. One of the things he had said really stuck out to me. He pointed out the fact that sometimes you do things to people and they don’t even know they deserve an apology for it. He encouraged us to apologize to those people because that’s correcting our own wrongs and overall shaping us into better people. While he talked about this I kind of zoned off (sorry if you’re reading this!) and was thinking of one person in particular. I personally don’t know this person but the hatred I had for them was unbearable. I had been trying to give the burden of holding onto the hatred to The Lord but I couldn’t let go of it all. I constantly talked bad about this person to everyone. I blamed them for so much stuff but in yet didn’t even know them. After our leader had mentioned this I knew I had to write this person an apology letter. I thought of a million excuses not to and so I prayed about it. God told me over and over to do it and so I did. I was vulnerable and I pointed out my flaws to a person I disliked more than anyone else. It took everything in me to put that letter in the mail box. Instantly I felt relieved but crazed thinking of why in the world I just sent that. After a couple of days I had forgotten about it until I got a call from someone telling me this person didn’t take my letter too well. I was completely confused. I had prayed about it and felt God was telling me to send it. I wrote nothing but the truth, apologies, and nice things and this person took it the wrong way. I was completely crushed. I cried. I felt bad for the person who got dragged in between it all. And eventually started questioning God. Why would he have me do something if it wasn’t going to turn out good? Was I even talking to God or who the heck told me I should send that thing?! The words “free will” kept coming to my mind and finally I realized what it meant.
God does lead us to do the right things, however, everyone has free will. I sent the letter with complete vulnerability, and with the best intentions. But, the person took it negatively. Instead of realizing what it was they decided to look down upon it and get mad about it. That was their choice, not God’s choice for them.
Through it all the burden was given to Big Papa. I pray for nothing but smiles, joy, and laughter for that person now. I also learned a lesson; Everyone has free will and just because I listen to what God is saying, doesn’t mean others do. I couldn’t possibly thank my squad leader enough for teaching me such a valuable not only feedback, but life lesson. Just because someone doesn’t know you’ve done wrong, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve your respect and honesty!
The best strawberry I have heard to date:
Before I tell you it I have to give you some back story. This guy has been crushing on this girl for ages. It isn’t some secret. Everyone knows it and he’s even told her before. But through it all nothing has become awkward and they still both remain best friends.
While standing in line at The Creamery, I asked my friends what their daily strawberries were. It came around to the last person and she blurted out “MY STRAWBERRY WAS (insert his name)”. Everyone was completely confused except them two. His face was glowing and he had the biggest smile on. At first he wouldn’t let her share why it was him. But, after some convincing, she went on to explain how he had randomly called her pretty earlier that day. We all said our awhs and a few minutes later he said he changed his strawberry. He had changed it to her reaction to him calling her pretty.
It was honest to God the cutest thing!
No one realizes the little amazing things God sends our way. Her strawberry was a couple heartfelt words that he randomly thought to say but something she needed to hear that day (if you ask me that’s the Holy Spirit working its magic!) and his strawberry was the reaction to his own action.
I didn’t tell them but I also changed my strawberry that day.
Until my next post..
With love and blessings,
Court
