I am told a lot by people who absolutely mean well, that He will bring my husband when the time is right. I held on to that promise a lot over the past few years but always in the back of my mind thought that He may not actually have that for me. Is that okay? Am I following the Lord for the hope of a husband or am I following the Lord for the hope of an eternal life with Him?
I can be transparent that a god of mine was marriage and if I am not careful to keep my eyes on Christ, that god is waiting for me. I was engaged once and I was willing to over look an entire alternate life to be married. Looking back, the time I was engaged is the first evidence I have of the Father pursuing me. I identified as a person that believed in God but my knowledge stopped there of Him but even then I understood when I heard His voice telling me not to go through with the wedding. Given my stubbornness, I marched on and praise Him that He stopped things.
My goodness for so long I was crushed to not yet be married, a sermon given one Sunday had me in tears the entire day. I am not sure yet if
1 Corinthians 7:1-9 has actually ever been helpful for me….
Some time after that message I was in Uganda and a girl walked up to me at the Garage and asked me to pray into her situation. She was single and very frustrated in the waiting. My immediate thought was, “Girl get in line!” but I did pray for her. The Lord gave me words to comfort her and at the same time also comfort myself. I remember sitting in awe the rest of the afternoon.
Fast-forward to two weeks ago, we were asked to pray about a label we were carrying around. I sat and asked the Lord what label we needed to address and the word that came up was “single” and I thought, “whoa Jesus, we have already tackled this and I thought I was fine. I thought I was doing well in healing and doing well with not chasing that god…” What is He about to walk me through? During that week the Father gave me a very sweet and unexpected apology I accepted I would never get…but what healing and freedom it brought.
This past week I am holding the hands of a beautiful and soft-spoken woman. I am painting her nails and she asks me if I would pray for her. Uh…of course. She asks me to pray for her desire to be married. She wants a husband badly and is frustrated in her singleness….she probably thought I didn’t understand because I just looked at her wide eyed for a longer than necessary moment. Again, the afternoon spent in awe. What the Lord will do next, I have no clue but because of my singleness I have been able to meet women hurting on different continents, different countries, and different worlds. Just sent to pray with them, to let them know they are not alone… or to let me know I am not alone.
