“I have been so taken up with the thoughts of leaving Bag End, and of saying farewell, that I have never even considered the direction,” said Frodo. “For where am I to go? And by what shall I steer? What is to be my quest? Bilbo went to find a treasure, there and back again; but I go to lose one, and not return, as far as I can see.”
-The Fellowship of the Ring
When I first applied to the World Race, and first considered leaving home for longer than I’ve ever been away before, I was in the process of rereading “The Fellowship of the Ring”. I love The Lord of the Rings. While Sam will always be my favorite hobbit, Frodo’s plight became a personal one as I counted the pros and cons of an 11 month long international mission trip. Throughout my application process, interview, and acceptance to my route, I read as Frodo dealt with fears of the unknown, confusion and worry about his path and his future. I thought, if Frodo can step out in faith to take a journey that would change his life, than gosh darn it I can leave home for a year!
Frodo didn’t expect much from his journey. In fact, he was convinced he would die along the way. He had no preparations in case he made it out alive. His plans only stretched as far as Mt. Doom in the distance. He knew the gist of his ultimate destination, but even when he reached the Gates of Mordor, he was still playing it all by ear. The details and little ups and downs weren’t up to Frodo. They were decided by fate, by Gandalf, by the randomness of chance. Frodo just went along with it, always looking toward that ultimate destination.
I’ve been trying to approach my World Race with Frodo’s style. Training camp was a lesson in “going with the flow”, and my tendency to plan was thrown out the window. As I approach my last few days in America (I have 19 days left!!), I’m trying to fully flesh out and then promptly throw away my expectations for the next year. I can only decide my ultimate destination: to serve others. To give whatever I can. All the other details and day to day journeys have to be left up to God.
While I do expect to make it home alive, I have to let go of expectations that so often turn into disillusionment and entitlement. Just like Frodo, I have to give up those little details and worries, or I’ll never be at peace. And just like Frodo, I go not to find a treasure, but hopefully to lose one.
