During the month of January, my team (still with the FireBreathers!) was in Botswana, working with Cru. We had the opportunity to live with fellow Americans (which is always a rare treat that gives such a different perspective of life in that area) and also minister beside and to college students (another special opportunity which doesn’t come along super often). So, in short, I was around people that I could relate to on cultural and experiential levels that hasn’t really happened in a lot of other countries. I was surrounded by familiar experiences and opinions, seperated only by the barrier of cultural differences between Africa and America.
Which led to a lot of great evangelism. It’s easier to strike up a conversation when I speak the language. I had the chance to speak with students from many different backgrounds: finance majors who loved music and had their own band, communications majors who just wanted to catch a break, Cru staff from the east coast seeking The Lord for further direction. We spoke about the movement of the Holy Spirit, the necessity of fasting and consecration, what a relationship with the Savior actually looks like. I loved getting to chance to meet young people yearning for something. Kids who didn’t know what life after graduation would look like. They were curious, and being able to point them in the direction of Cru was a lot of fun.
But being on a college campus brings up a lot of other stuff too. Stuff like “why wasn’t I more outgoing in college?” and “why do I get so self conscious all the time” and “am I here for the ‘right reasons’ or do I care more about Instagram than I care about reaching the lost?” Sometimes God brings up the old stuff, the insecurities and comparison issues of the past, in order to humble us. All that stuff about him using our weakness as His strength? Totally have to be reminded of that every few months. My team leader, Mary, did a great job of getting me through some squirmy spots, encouraging me out of bouts of social-media-fueled comparison-fests.
2 Corinthians 13:4 says “…Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God’s power we will live with him to serve you.” The ‘him’ was Jesus’ death on the cross. So yeah, I’m still pretty weak. I still see the Facebook posts and the Instagram pictures and the other believers and compare and contrast and do a lot of damage. But I can overcome. I have “God’s power”. And nothing else will get the job done. Not missions trips or cool filters or even encouragement from others. Insecurities can only be handed over to The Lord. He’s the only one that can take care of them long term. I think I had most of that figured out before Gaborone, but sometimes God just likes reminding us. Thanks, God.
