Team Geronima has officially completed Month 1 of the Race. Here’s a glimpse into what I’ve been learning in Macedonia this month:
This month the Lord has been teaching me that the best sort of love is sacrificial love – a love that requires no response or reciprocation. Often I want to love by helping and initiating change and growth in others or in other’s situations, but the Lord has been revealing to me that the best way I can love well is to simply LOVE – to not expect anything in return, to let go of the other half of the equation. Ultimately, all I can control is my heart and my actions, not other’s responses to my efforts. I want to love more like Jesus did, sacrificially and whole heartedly, regardless of what the response is to my love.
When love is ever-present, it IS impactful, even if it’s not always acknowledged.
That’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned this month while working with the kids in Shutka.
As I mentioned in my last blog post, one of our primary ministries this month was helping out with the “Soup Kitchen” each week day. We didn’t help prepare the food or clean up afterwards because the church has graciously given jobs to a few adults in the community through this ministry. Rather, each day we would simply hang out with the kids. Sounds pretty simple, right? Well, Romani children are, to put it bluntly, little firecrackers. Yes, we received many sweet smiles and hugs, but most of these kids come from rough home lives and that was evident in their behavior towards us as well as one another.
I had a really hard month as I struggled to determine the balance between where to draw healthy boundaries, both for my sake and the children’s. Some days would be fantastic and the kids would be love-able and kind, while other days ended with me taking an empty soda bottle to the back of the head. To put it simply, “No” (or “Neh” in Macedonian) doesn’t mean anything to these children.
I don’t blame the kids. My heart aches for them, and I wonder if they’ll ever know anything other than the life that seems to inevitably await them in Shutka. There are so many wonderful things about Romani culture, but the overwhelming poverty mentality can’t be ignored as you walk through the streets.
Picture this: As you walk down the main road to the Market you see trash lining both sides of the street. The people in Shutka toss all of their garbage out on the edge of the roads or in fields. The breeze wafts a nose scrunch ensuing stench your way as the garbage bakes in 100-degree heat. A heavily neglected horse gallops past you on your right (that was quite frightening). Two young boys dig through the trash piles, pulling out plastic bottles and loading them onto their horse-drawn cart. Their parents make them work like this instead of sending them to school because they prefer the immediate money. A naked little boy darts by in front of you, taking a bite out of the piece of pizza in his hand and to your right there’s an 8-year old little girl with a baby on her hip, the mom no where in sight. You hear a “PANG!” as you see a lady smash a frying pan across a little puppy’s head because it wandered onto her porch (so your team saves the puppy and names him “Benji”). As you pass by people sitting in lawn chairs on the curb you notice that clothes are tattered, teeth are missing, hair is a mess.
These children we played with at Soup Kitchen each have a story that’s resulted from growing up in this sort of environment – many a story of pain, shame, rejection and/or loss. But this month I (and team Geronima) had the opportunity to be a light in their life, an opportunity to love on them and to show them attention and affection. And although they didn’t (or couldn’t) always receive our love with a warm embrace, we IMPACTED these children’s lives by showing them the love of their Heavenly Father.
Today, after our last afternoon of ministry, a few of the kids came back to our porch with plastic bags full of food from the market. Before I even knew what was happening, the children were eagerly dragging plastic tables and chairs onto the front porch, asking to borrow a few of our dishes and setting up a tasty spread of chips, cookies and cokes across the tables. They carefully arranged the plates and filled each one with a unique pattern of goodies, all with smiles on their faces, eager to make this meal special. Wow. They do love us! Wow. We really did IMPACT these kids’ lives! They spent the last of their own money to buy us these treats to show us that they were thankful for our presence and love this month.
And that was our last supper in Macedonia. And, oh, what a supper it was.
