The past ten days at training camp completely rocked my world.
The Spirit of the Lord called me out and when I fought His presence, He relentlessly pursued me – breaking down walls and striping me of everything I’d once held on to. He asked me to reject and relinquish every word and insecurity I had used to define myself in this world and beckoned me into the only identity that matters. I am a daughter of the One King ; beloved, purposed, chosen.
After my last experience at camp, I came into this one with hesitation. I held on to the fear of rejection and failure that had dominated my life and consumed my thoughts for most of my life, terrified I’d be sent home again. More powerful, though, was the fear that those concerns would dictate my perceptions of others and affect my interactions with my new family.
The Lord challenged me at every turn.
Why won’t you look Me in the eyes ? You look to my hands and take what I offer, but you are timid to meet My gaze ! What is holding you back, my Beloved ?
I was being controlled by fear.
And so I fought – calling upon the Lord in every moment and hardship, forcing myself into vulnerability with every person I possibly could.
I poured out, slowly but surely remembering the truth of the redemption I have been granted, simply because of the GRACE of God. I was encouraged at every turn to let go of the hurts that continued to poisonously run through my veins. Prophetic words were spoken over me and I broke. And I let go.
My placement was confirmed. God used so many people around me to show me. It took me seven months to know with all my heart this is where I was meant to be. I walked into training camp expecting to make a decision afterward about my commitment to this path. The moment I was surrounded by my team, I knew it wasn’t my decision to make any longer.
You belong here. Meet your new family.
Thank you for being so faithful, God. Thank you for my curious mind, too stubborn to let go of this journey. And that you truly answer every prayer, in Your timing. I look back to my prayer from the second day of camp :
“I trust you. But I’m in a fog, going through the motions. I can fake this life, but my heart is out of reach and yours knows no bounds. Help me. Break me into more pieces than the atoms my body consists of, scatter them far so I may journey to discover that person you want me to be. Show me my faults, my failures and shortcomings. Shape me. Shake me up. Let your wild heart loose. Run rampant in my life.”
And then the words came.
“You have an authentic beauty about you. Nothing shall be cut short, it is the time of unfolding.”
“God is proud of you. Not who you are becoming, not your potential, but who you are right now, in this moment.”
“The wells are so deep. You’ve been digging and digging and now you’re laying beginning to lay the stone…”
I’m wild about your heart for My Kingdom. I’m WILD about you, Corrie. You are part of this. I placed you here on purpose, for a purpose.
Help us to be a squad that makes intentional and deliberate, bold decisions to help further Your Kingdom on earth and let Heaven rain down.
Thank you that you call people out of their junk and into their greatness.
Let us continue to dig no more.
We are rebuilding, together. And we will set the world ablaze.
#trainingcamp #oneLofasquad #praise #11n11 #southamericabound #welcometheseason #springtime #watchoutworld
