In today’s world, we are pushed to want more ; fame, fortune, attention, money, possessions. We are convinced our worth and value increases with the amount of these items. Romans 12:2 tells us to not conform to the patterns of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds and in receiving that, I would wager I’m not alone in thinking that mindset leaks slowly into all aspects of our life.
Recently, I’ve felt weary. With all of the emotion and circumstances at home, as well as our impending departure, I’ve defected to detachment. It’s self-preservation at its worst, an easy way out of conflict. And so I started to check out, I wasn’t fully present in my relationships not was I as diligent in my alone time with the Lord.
In shutting down a part of my heart, I created and allowed a disconnect between what I call my heart God and my head God. I know He is real, sovereign and He created the earth. Logically, literally, nothing else makes sense. I know He has transformative and redemptive power in His love. My heart is still partly closed though, and I don’t feel connected to Him in that way right now.
I think the worst part about this debacle I’ve cornered myself in is I’m so aware of what’s happening and seem to be scrambling to repair in my mind but standing still at the same time. Because it’s scary to realize you’ve allowed the enemy to seep into your life so much you’ve a less receptive heart to the most mighty love. It’s scary to see Father God and know Him and trust Him, but doubt yourself and doubt your worth to the Lord, because in doing that, you admit you don’t accept who He says He is.
During the last few sessions of launch, we were at worship and I prayed for the reconnect, because I need the embrace of the Father. And we talked about wanting more. And how that is okay to ask – to ask for more of God.
What’s even more wild is He wants to give more ! He never wants to stop giving to us – and His idea of more looks A LOT different than ours.
Have you ever asked for feedback, but weren’t ready to actually receive something constructive ? So it is with the Spirit and with more of God.
You have to ask for it. And you have to truly want it and be open to it. And you have to believe He will deliver ; I am 100% confident of that, because God always delivers on His promises. When I wanted more, needed more after moving back to Kansas, he placed me in an amazing serving opportunity with a life group. Then with the youth group, then with the World Race. And He hasn’t stopped ; I’ve just been too closed off to receive and accept the other amazing things He wants to give me.
The Lord is shaking me up so He can mold me into more of he Daughter He wants for His Kingdom. And that’s uncomfortable, it’s hard.
But this season, this mission, it isn’t about easy – it isn’t about comfort and it isn’t about me. It’s about serving and glorifying Christ, because He wants more for me and He wants more of me. It’s about stepping into our inheritance and crying out for more of the One who quenches all thirst and satisfies all hunger.
This season is about dependency. It’s about receiving the love He has for us, so we may pour it out tenfold.
So ask for more. I dare you.
#praise #Colombia #Medellín #welcometheseason #11n11
