Today has been weird. I feel old, but not different. Comfortable, but not satisfied. I am so grateful for the love that has been shown to me as the people in my life gather to celebrate the day I was born. But the real celebration comes from inside of me ; seeing everyone come together out of love and feeling all of the passion bubbling up.
It isn’t my day, it’s not for me. It’s for Him, always – but I seem to forget it all too often. So, after a long day at work, keeping to myself and trying to stay under the radar as much as humanly possible, I sit at home to think about Jesus and all He gave for me. Fingers bloodied and jagged from gnawing anxiously at them while remembering how I could have, should have, would have given more in the past year. Internally, the height of battle ; knowing I poured out so much to those around me and my new church family, but all the while feeling like I just wasn’t giving enough, wasn’t loving enough.
And so today, I praise His grace. The raw forgiveness that washes over me like cold rain on a hot summer day. Today I sit in awe of His goodness and joyfully submit to the plans He has for me, because I want to be better for my God and I know He is the only one who knows the way.
In spite of all the ugly, you make things new. You bring peace to my chaos and quiet the strongest gale. Nothing is too big nor too deep for your love, which knows no bounds.
On this day, I could never feel more joy than to know I am Yours and have been created to bring news of your victory to this world. I am purposed ; a masterful and intricately designed vessel, a child of the One King.
#praise #11n11 #watchoutworld
