Do you ever have one of those moments when you’re called out on your unconscious assumptions, and you feel silly, even border-line ashamed that you never even realized the assumption was there in the first place?
Happens to me all the time! Commonly it happens when I am confronted with a mindset totally different than my own. Examples: when I first started teaching in the city and was going through social justice training, when I first travelled to Indonesia and only wore a bikini on beach full of local Muslims swimming fully dressed, when I became teammates with a diehard Cubs fan (sigh). In all honesty, this World Race journey has been full of those sometimes embarrassing moments where I realize I have some unconscious assumptions that may or may not be based in truth.
I had one a few days ago in Užice, Serbia while we were talking with the director of a YWAM (Youth With A Mission) base here. Chris is a mountain of a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve (or on his tongue as he says the expression goes in Serbian) as much as possible. He’s originally from the Netherlands, but felt called to help bring the relational love of Jesus to Serbia, particularly Southern Serbia. It’s a calling that has been tedious and draining, taking him through two strokes and what looks like very little progress from the outside.
Chris tells us of the struggles he’s had demonstrating the love of Christ to a people whose understanding of faith is very rules based, and whose history has been plagued by Holy Wars and religious struggles for power. Many non-Orthodox Christians are simply dismissed because their actions and their words often culturally fly in the face of the traditions of the Orthodox Church. Chris tells us of countless times where the relational progress he’s made has been halted and sometimes reversed by over-zealous missionaries whose actions seemed to contradict their words and drawn negative attention to themselves. Sometimes this looks like something as blatantly obvious as a missionary going out and drinking regularly, but sometimes it can be as subtle as closing your eyes and bowing your head in public to pray.
No more than a few minutes after hearing about these struggles, my team committed the very same offense.
As we closed out our conversation with Chris, we asked him if we could pray for him and for his ministry. So we joined hands, closed our eyes and bowed our heads right there in the cafe courtyard. Well, my team did anyway. As we finished, Chris said he wanted to pray for us as well, but that he would keep his eyes open while he prayed. In light of the culture, and not wanting to draw attention to ourselves in this specific place, he wanted the prayer to look like everyday conversation. Then he challenged us – he said that the reason we close our eyes to pray is perhaps simply influenced by what’s acceptable by our own cultural standards, what we have been taught that prayer should look like.
Friends, I can hear you protesting now. “But closing my eyes is part of how I turn my attention off the distractions of the world and focus it on God,” and “Aren’t we called to stand apart as Christians, to be assured that we are not ashamed in demonstrating our faith?” Both are valid objections, both filled with truth. If given the choice I also find closing my eyes an easier way to refocus my thoughts and it is still my preference. Also, yes, we are called to live differently to the glory of our God, and sometimes that does mean drawing attention to yourselves by joining hands and bowing your heads to pray in a public place.
But Chris had a biblically-based point. “Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.” Romans 14:13 ESV
Paul goes on to give a specific example of being careful of what you eat before someone who follows rules with what they eat. But in a broader sense, I think Paul was simply trying to say don’t discourage someone in their Christian faith by acting blatantly contrary to what they believe that faith to look like. You will do more damage than good with this approach.
For example, even though I don’t have a problem with tattoos (and have a few myself, with a long for more!) I shouldn’t flaunt them in Christian cultures around the world that disagree with me. I’m not saying they’re right, I’m simply saying I represent the love of Christ better when I am mindful of the cultural ramifications of my actions. That I cannot even begin to enter into a discussion on differences in theological practices, nor should I, before I have taken the time to love and respect people where they’re at. And as Chris pointed out, it may take years upon years before that relationship is strong enough.
Hear me, I’m not saying you should ever let cultural norms compromise the commands of God. I’m simply saying, “Outdo one another in showing honor.” Romans 12:10 ESV Perhaps that looks like praying with your eyes open every once in a while.
