One of my favorite days of Training Camp was the day when the men left for their “man hike” and the women did some heart gardening together. The stones we’d used to build walls around our hearts began to come down as we realized that we are not alone in our struggles. Even the really ugly ones. The ones we that make us believe we couldn’t possibly let people see the real us.
That’s the most common feeling surrounding our struggles – shame. It’s why we hide, why we build walls, why we keep parts of our lives in the dark.
On that day of heart gardening at Training Camp, I realized my own weeds are largely the result of a lifetime of perceived rejection. Shame is often watering the weeds in my heart with thoughts like “I am not good enough for this situation” or “I am not good enough for this person” or “I didn’t do that well enough.”
Here’s the thing though – shame is NOT from God.
Yet it’s something mankind has struggled with from the beginning. At Training Camp, we spent time in Genesis 3, learning how shame follows closely behind the first sin. When God asks Adam & Eve why they hid from him when he called, Adam says “I was afraid because I was naked.” And God responds, “Who told you that?”
God was lovingly pointing out to his beloved that he is NOT the one who authors those shameful thoughts. I need to be reminded of this everyday – to separate the shame that is often clinging to most of my self-talk. So what do I replace those shameful thoughts with? What does God say about me?
I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of God (Ephesians 1:7)
I am holy, chosen, and blameless before God (Ephesians 1:4)
I am a daughter of God (John 1:12)
Nothing I do can separate me from His love (Romans 8:39)
I need to read those every day! Do you know the most beautiful thing about all the things God says about me? He says them to you, too.
YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
YOU are redeemed and forgiven by the grace of God (Ephesians 1:7)
YOU are holy, chosen, and blameless before God (Ephesians 1:4)
YOU are a child of God (John 1:12)
NOTHING you do can separate you from His love (Romans 8:39)
Son of God, one of the songs from the worship team at my church, speaks so clearly to me about my shame:
I lie down and rest, ’cause I work no longer
I breathe in, refreshed no more soiled in disgrace
I look up at Him to whom I am kneeling
And I see delight there in my Father’s face
When you think of God’s gaze on you, what does His face look like? Is he frowning? Who told you that?
Hear me. He delights in you, you are His beloved.
If all I do for the next year is wake up and say this to myself, my teammates, and all those that the Spirit leads me to around the world, I’ll be one happy daughter of God. If you haven’t yet, subscribe to my blog to follow that journey.
Peace & Love, dear ones!
