I had a dream, one of the last days that we were in Ecuador, that involved me reading from the Bible. I can’t remember any of the context or what else happened in the dream, but I woke up with the reference Galatians 1:6–10, clear as day.
(I’m not one of those people always having God-inspired dreams, either. My recent dreams have included people who can turn into dinosaurs and epic-fantasy type revolutionaries.)
When the reference stuck in my head amidst all the packing and finishing up at our ministry site, I wrote it down and promptly forgot about it. Yesterday I finally remembered to look it up. Then in church this morning, I felt a nudge towards sharing why I was so blown away once I read it.
I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel – bot that there is another gospel, but there are some who are confusing you and want to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should proclaim to you a gospel contrary to what we proclaimed to you, let that one be accursed! As we have said before, so now I repeat, if anyone proclaims to you a gospel contrary to what you received, let that one be accursed!
Am I now seeking human approval, or God’s approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:6–10
First off, I was super impressed that dream-me found a complete paragraph (well, two) to read. These weren’t just a random smattering of verses; they all go together. (In my Bible, they fall under the subheading There Is No Other Gospel.)
That is not a coincidence.
Secondly, while the first 4 verses don’t mean a whole lot to me right now, the last one hit me hard. The first four months of the Race, I fell headlong into the person I wanted to be, the person God wanted me to be. I had this brand new family with me, and somehow it became easy to be positive, to read my Bible, to pray before meals (and other times too), to serve.
But the rug got pulled out from under me when we changed teams, and I let that person slip away, bit by bit. When I should have had the perfect environment to redouble my focus on God, I let self-doubt creep in. Does it annoy her when I do this? Does she think I’m dumb because of that?
Truth is, I haven’t ever lived with this many people before. I don’t have this many best friends. The only people I’m used to being around this much are family (or a couple of years ago, college roommates).
So I spent a lot of time in Asia being terrified to bother some of my teammates.
While I’ve put all that behind me, how I wish I had had this verse back then! As much as we all know “Don’t worry about what other people think!” it’s hard to remember! But I know I was – I am – so much happier when I’m concerned with seeking God’s approval and God’s voice compared to when I let other people, or my fears, dictate who I should be.
So today, I’m celebrating a re-dedication to trusting my gut (because my head is what gets in the way, not my heart).
