The sun is shining in my eyes, as the curtain flaps in the wind and hits my face. As I sit on the train heading to Hungary watching Bulgaria rush by. I reflect back at my first month on the World Race. I miss our first contacts, Ivan and Dani, already. They were filled with generosity and hospitality as they welcomed us into their church and their everyday life. I feel like they helped us more, than we helped them. They took us out sightseeing, to the doctor, to the boarder to get a teammate’s computer and most blessed of all, they let us stay at their summer house. I’m so thankful for all they have done for us and for the love that they have toward us.
Although my first month was not as eventful as I expected, God has taught me many valuable lessons. First he taught me that my expectations are too often to high. Even when I know not to expect much I still carry a idea in my head of the things I think I need. When those needs aren’t met I feel like I have nothing. I tend to expect everyone to have the same view as me and get frustrated when they don’t. “If they just would work harder, do this or be like that” they will be better or how I want them to be. I’m learning to put down my expectations of what everyone else should be and and focusing on who God wants ME to be.
Secondly God is teaching me that I’m not alone. Living with 6 other girls is not easy. For example one is sleeping on my shoulder right now as I write this. We have our highs and lows but are a team and are learning who to work as one. We are growing in our relationships with each other daily. We are opening up to each other and finding strength in community. To hide your feelings, thoughts, and desires only eats away at your soul leaving room for bitterness and disappointment to take hold, destroying what God has made us for, which is community and fellowship. Everyday we have family time where we share our inner thoughts and feeling with each other to help each other become the person who God created us to be. God is constantly working in my life and relationships with others is part of that. Like I said this is the way God intended it.
The third is that true love is not reserved for your family and closest friends. The definition of God is ‘love’. The more I love God, the more love I have for people. God is showing me more and more of His love for His people. I can’t walk by a homeless person sitting on the curb or a  crippled elderly lady trying to cross the street without feeling an intense love for them. Why? I don’t even know them. The kind of love that God has given me goes beyond the love I have for my family and friends. The love that comes from God is unconditional. It does not depend on receiving that love in return. I can love without needing them to love me. Of course it still feels great when that love is returned. Many of the people who we have met have loved us back, it makes us feel like our time is worth it but it is not dependable on how much love they have for us . Only the love God has for them.
Sometimes the love I have has a downside, which brings me to me fourth lesson. Having that much love for people can be hard, especially when I see their pain and heartache. I know that I’m going to see some really disturbing sights and hurting people in the next 10 months. Some of it I won’t know how to deal with. It says in I Peter 5:7 to cast all your cares upon Jesus. Sometimes in my life there are things that I can’t handle on my own. When I feel hopeless and overwhelmed, I need to give these to God. He does not want us to carry the burden alone. I know that He cares and that He listens to our prayers. When we turn to Him in our grief, He helps us and we start to see more of who He is and that all He does is good. When I pray God answers, maybe not always right away but He always does. Whether I like the answer or not. God is always teaching me to trust in Him. I like to think most of the time I do, but when I don’t He is still there to pick me up from the mistakes I have made and show me the right path.
I can’t wait to see how many more lessons God is going to teach me. I know He is going to reveal  more of who he is everyday. This is just the beginning of a journey that is going to bring me closer to Christ and help me become the daughter that He created me to be.
