I went through some tough refining moments last month where God revealed some places in my heart that needed work. I was faced with my prideful, self-righteous, selfish self. Ugh! I was hurt and acted out only focusing on myself and not others and their needs. One of my favorite quotes from my Dad is, “what happens to me is less important than how I handle what happens to me.” God knocked me flat on my back! So glad He did. Here’s some of what came out of that whole process. Brace yourself! Last month I read the Heavenly Man by Brother Yun and The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Tim Keller (after some gentle nudging by my good friend Val). Both books are very impactful! God has a way with timing!
For true Christians, those who have put their trust in Jesus all day every day, the verdict is in. We are free. There are free people all over walking around just not knowing it. You are sitting in the prison cell of life waiting to hear guilty or innocent, pardoned or condemned, free or not and the truth is you can be free, you have the keys to open the prison door and it’s not from anything you have done! Jesus is there he’s already died for your sins, you can’t even say don’t. He has. So do you accept it? Do you let go of your exhausting pride and say thank you? Or do you fight it, trying to do it yourself and all for what? To bring yourself glory, so that you can brag about it? You can’t get rid of your sin or pay for it, that’s why Jesus so willingly died, and don’t say, “what sin?” You are someone He created, He loves you! He pursues you! So don’t think he’ll relent until he has you. He is constantly trying to get your attention too. Just look past yourself and see Him.
Every other year or so, God will place a piece of poetry on my heart, here’s one he gave me a few weeks ago.
There is a never-ending cycle in my mind.
As I find joy one moment and despair the next.
Like a prisoner in confinement that sees a fleeting light
I prefer to punish myself than choose freedom.
I live in the world of what ifs and should’ve dones
There is no relief offered to me by myself
I hold the chains on with my pride
I feel defeated and conquered by my accuser
I scold myself and offer no grace.
I am too low to even crawl to forgiveness
Is there any justice for my dark soul?
Is there a key to this steel door?
Is there a new route for my mind to follow?
Freedom and forgiveness is available. Jesus I’m running to you. Save me yet again. I’m free!
I’m tired of my self-righteousness and the way I don’t offer grace to myself or others! We’re going to fail. We’re going to be hypocrites. Life will get us down, but I don’t have to live defeated. My verdict will never change, even in those moments, I’m free and my destiny does not change depending on my actions. Free people free people. I want to shout it from all the rooftops I’ve been on this past month!
You’re free! Quit living as a prisoner! Choose to get up and walk out of that prison cell (just like Brother Yun was miraculously able to do). Stop judging yourself. It’s pointless because the only judge has already ruled and IF you accept Jesus and his gift of salvation then you’re free! All other religions base the verdict on actions, but with God that’s not possible, Jesus is the only WAY! Oh man I love Him so much!
Here’s what I challenge you and MYSELF with..let go of pride, it sucks. Jesus said “follow me” not follow my followers. Look at Him. The church is made up of imperfect people, shocker I know but that’s why there isn’t a perfect church out there! Join in and offer grace! Don’t get offended. Who are you? You are saved by grace! That’s who! Just get down on your knees and confess who you really are to Jesus. I’ve had to do it almost daily! He already knows and he loves us anyway! One day we’ll all be bowing to him, choose now. Choose to be free. If you know this then why the heck aren’t you freeing your friends too?! Consider this as me freeing you!
