I remember asking my Grandma just days before she joined the party in heaven if she had any regrets or wish she had done more or anything differently and she said no. She had a great life and even got that hot air balloon ride! I remember thinking..wow really?! She had such a simple life..same town same husband same friends..but I’m beginning to understand her peace as it came from being content wherever God had her.
I was restless at home and this month (month 8 in Kenya) I feel restless again! I am constantly seeking what’s next what am I missing out on?? And all the while God is asking me to be still, to be silent and it’s killing me lol! We are roughing it here in Kenya according to my standards anyway and I don’t think I’m all that great at it. I’m more of a city girl for sure, but God is revealing some awesome truths about me to the core as I live with this Pastor and his family.
I don’t really know what I want because I’m always wanting what everyone else has, the gift of writing or photography or guitar playing or wisdom. I get stuck and distracted by others that I miss who I am!
I am learning yet again how to be fully HIS. Heard a saying once, problem with living sacrifices is that they like to run off the alter! That’s me! But I like getting back on too. Getting right in the center of God’s plan, His will and protection!
So whether I am here or there, roughing it or living large, gifted or plain, short or tall, married or single. I am what He wants me to be. Jesus is enough!
I received some rather tough but good feedback from my contact in Cambodia and she was right on. She said I needed to Seek first His kingdom not my own. To truly lay aside all that I am holding on to and put His desires first. Matthew 6:33
I want to be spirit-led..I want to be me..and I want to be content.
My friend Carlena (she pretty much rocks) gave me a note before I left on how to be content. On the card were some pointers that came from a long-term missionary woman in Africa. I feel that they are so important for wherever God has us in life!
- Never allow yourself to complain about anything. Not even the weather!
- Never picture yourself in a different circumstance or someplace else.
- Never compare your lot with the lot of another
- Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise
- Never dwell on tomorrow. Remember it’s God’s not ours.
One of my favorite gifts I received before leaving on the race was from Jake Falcon an awesome jr. higher! He gave me the devotional Jesus Calling and I have loved it everyday. One common theme each day is to give thanks to God. For anything that comes your way each day give thanks. Be thankful. I feel that the more we focus on where we’re at and enjoying the moments, plus being thankful for the things we do have, our focus will be off of ourselves and where it needs to be..on Jesus! We’ll be content. Americans are RICH. We are. Even the poorest of the poor back home are richer than most I’ve seen in this world. But we take our “wealth” for granted. I know I did. My health. My hot showers. My cleanliness. My bed. My family. My friends. My community. My church. My country. All of this is wealth. Not money wealth, but heart warming wealth. The poorest country by far that I went to was the Philippines. Many of you saw pics and it wasn’t pretty. One thing I did see was wealth in the family relationships. They didn’t have much, but they had each other.
So I think about my restlessness and my journey here with contentment and I realize that it’s just as Paul said in Philippians 4:12-13. (Funny- the Philippines and Philippians)
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who give me strength! Awe Ya!
