In my previous blogs to you all I have apologized for the length at which I write because I suppose a part of me saw it as unnecessary to levy you with burdensome reading. This blog is here to demolish those faulty sentiments.
India. What a country it was. A place full of stinging spices, sweltering heat, and wonderful people. Though I only enjoyed the last in the list, something tremendous occurred that I only yearned had happened sooner on my race. What was it you ask? Well, if you read the title, you already guessed it.
Sonship.
Romans 8:14-17 says, “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship, and by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”
Why is this verse instrumental for me recently? In the middle of our India excursion, we had this event called the Awakening. During one of the sessions a vision came to me where I saw myself walking in a throne hall – the room decorated in the finest gold and sapphire. Upon my shoulders draped a royal purple robe, silver armor, whilst I was clothed in a blue undertone red. It had to be a vision not of my own conjuring because those colors obviously don’t go together (thanks, mom).
Now, I have not been one to admit visions as entirely accurate because they aren’t replicable and can’t be logically tested for their veracity, and they can easily delve into the known regions of moral fantasy and social degeneration. I can easily take what my mind imagines as true and make that my reality, when in fact I can be easily led astray by my focused conscience to unpleasant, unattainable ends. That’s not to say that He cannot speak through visions, as that is clearly evident in the Word.
This vision was unlike any I’ve had, or may have again, and a portion of me is remorseful that it took a vision for me to understand a fundamental truth that is so evident in the Scriptures. As it said in Romans, so too was God speaking to me through this vision. Why had I not understood before?
As I walked down the royal hall, I knelt before someone I could not see, but spoke in a language I could understand and have longed to hear. Trembling, I knew it had to be the King of my heart. My head bent down and I dare not look up, for it would be blinding to my eyes and scorching to my soul. He then spoke with a fervent gentleness where I was afraid yet without fear. Clanged twice on the shoulder by a sword, only two words were spoken to me as I tried to rationalize my way out of the vision: “Rise, King.”
At the mention of this, a white fire burned in my bones and seared my core. Drenched from head-to-toe in a bathed warmth, I realized I had forgotten who I was, who the Lord declared I am – and who we all are. A reminder of my identity was fundamental for what I was yet to endure.
India went on and I was able to go with my friend, Tristian, to a local university and share the Good News, and I was greatly encouraged by two women I met while I was there, for their hunger and desire to know more only stoked and furthered my own passion for God’s Word. It reminded me that my faith is not based on performance, that He is with me at all times, and I need only operate out of the knowledge that I am His son, and everything He has, he has freely given to me (Luke 15:31).
Then, upon arriving to Nepal, our Squad Leaders are leaving and handing the mantle off to the thirty of us who signed up for the trip. Much to my initial chagrin, I was asked by leadership to become one of the new four Team Leaders going forward. Thoughts of inadequacy immediately hit me as I think I’m completely, and utterly, incapable of leading others effectively. My mind became my enemy, whispering lies that hurt again, telling me that I’m just not good enough; not enough for this person, this team, or for the future. My legs shook beneath me, and I became a recluse, exhausted by the daunting item hanging over my head like the weight of a thousand suns.
I had simply forgotten which “Son” I would allow to shine on me.
Then Romans 8:14-17 was read again by one of my current SQL’s, Sara, unbeknownst to them how important is was for me.
Listed amongst the catalogue of all crimes against humanity is the lie and deception that we here are common folk of the earth, when, in fact, we were made for a different world. Adopted into sonship, through the receiving of Christ into my heart as my Lord and savior, I am now a son and co-heir with Christ. Everything that happens before me, I can meet with an intrepid will because of the knowledge that before any title I am given, I am a son of God. He has given me everything, and that is the identity I choose to have in the ramparts of my soul. If I never see another miracle in this life, I will still believe because he has already performed the greatest miracle of all: reconciling humanity as his sons and daughters. Each one who receives this gift, freely given, is adopted as a son and daughter into his royal court, so that we may say, “Abba, Father.” He is a righteous, holy judge and a father to those that earnestly seek Him.
That is partly why I am beyond thrilled to be leading a group called the Fellowship of the King (our team name). It has reminded me of the era God is calling me to as I don’t know “whether I have been called to a royal position for such a time as this (Esther 4:14).” I am a massive LOTR fan, and the words of Tolkien have come to me once again as everything was swirling about.
“All that is gold does not glitter
Not all those who wander are lost
The old that is strong does not wither
Deep roots are not reach by the frost
From the ashes a fire shall be woken
A light from the shadows shall spring
Renewed shall be the blade that was broken
The crown-less again shall be King.”
Drawn from this point, I recalled Proverbs 18:20-21 which states, “From the fruit of their mouths a person’s stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Therefore, I must remind myself of the life that God has spoken over me (and of you), and declare the Word over my spirit as nourishment to my bones. Eat the fruit of life poured out from your tongue, so therefore speak life. But life-breathed words only come through storing the Word in your heart, as David says in Psalm 119:11, “I have hidden your word in my heart so that I might not sin against you.”
I do not know what the road ahead will be, but with full assurance of the spirit God has given, and being resolute in duty and conviction, I know that there are far better things ahead than any I leave behind.
