Over the whole race, weight and body image have been so much of a struggle (currently in the midst of writing another blog about this). But because the majority of us girls gained weight on the race, we came up with “Hot in Guat”. Meaning, that once we got to Guatemala, our last country, we were going to workout a lot and try to really get in shape and lose the weight we had gained, so that we would feel good when we headed home.
Here in Guatemala, Jules and I were training for our own little half marathon, running long distances and then doing circuit workouts in the evening. It was so awesome and looking back I really did enjoy those runs, mostly because I got to spend time with my best friend, but also just the physical exercise. During the week, Jules and I would run in the mornings, shower, and then go to breakfast, all before 7AM. We were constantly exhausted from full day ministry and working out, but we loved it and really loved how we felt about our bodies.
However, I definitely was feeling convicted because I wasn’t really reading my Bible, but I tried to push it aside. 1 Timothy 4:8 kept coming to mind. (“For physical training is of some value, but Godliness holds value for all things, holding life for the present life and the life to come.”) Surely Jesus would want me to be in such good shape, that’s what I told myself. It wasn’t until one night when Jules and I were talking with our good friend, Sam Haymond, and he was asking us what we were learning about from Jesus. We both honestly shared with him that we hadn’t been reading our bibles very consistently because we were running in the mornings. (In other countries we would read our Bibles before breakfast.) I started feeling even more convicted and actually went back and read 1 Timothy 4:8 remembering and reflecting on the past month I had spent separate from God’s word.
A couple weeks back my knees started hurting so much, and were very painful when I ran. However, I just pushed through and figured the pain would go away at some point. The pain was so bad that we had to take a few days off from running, and it was on April 28, 2019 that I finally started reading my Bible again in the morning.
It was so fun to sit on May 3, 2019 and talk about all the Lord was teaching me through his word with Sam, Jules and my friends. To see the visible switch, my attitude, actions, heart intentions, and desires! The word of God so visibly changes us and our hearts to be postured towards Papa and his will.
My knees get worse in waves, but they always have a constant pain to them. I can say that I’ve come to a place where I believe that God has allowed my knees to be in so much pain to get me off the street running and back into his word growing closer to him. Honestly, it’s hard to say, but I would so much rather have a healthy and intimate relationship with Jesus than a very in-shape body.
Through this experience I’ve realized the purpose to why Christ allows us to experience pain in this world. Please know that God never wishes pain on us. He isn’t the creator of it, Satan is. God is the Lord Most High, the beginning and the end, the Savior and Messiah. Satan has to ask God for permission before anyone feels pain, hurt, or suffering. So when we experience pain in our lives it is not because God is inflicting pain on us, but is allowing us to experience hurt, in hopes (he already knows what the outcome will be because he is all knowing) that we will turn to him.
I know so many people that have turned away from the Lord because they say, “If God was real, my grandmother wouldn’t have died” or “God doesn’t love me because I’m struggling financially” or “God wants me to be miserable because I have no friends.” But these are all false! The reason that God allows us to experience pain is because God can use the awful pain and suffering of this broken world to deepen our relationship with him. Wait. Did I just say that God wants to take an ugly and hard situation and make it beautiful? Yes! When hard things come our way, Jesus wants to help us through them, but do we let him? Do we turn to him in times of trouble for help, or simply blame our hard times (the very things we have to endure on this broken world because we sin) on him. One of my good friends here actually came to know the Lord because of her brother’s passing. God used the physical death of her brother to create a spiritual birth of relationship with Jesus inside of her. Though the hard times we go through still break God’s heart, to see us hurting, God uses that pain in this world simply to grow us closer to him. He makes something beautiful out of us.
Turn to him in times of trouble, and tell him your struggling and need him. Turn to him in times of joy, and thank him for how good he is and that his blessings are abundant. Turn to him in the mundane, and just talk to him about your day, he loves hearing from his children (us). God wants to hear it all, so pray, and he wants to have a close relationship with us, so invite him into your heart, life, and every situation.
