Background:
I worked at a Christian overnight camp this summer, one that I’ve gone too since I was ten. For two weeks this past summer I was helping with day camp, which placed me in the circle of support staff. For support staff, we had mandatory devos on Thursday nights. However, my first week of day camp I was also helping at my church‘s VBS at night, so I couldn’t make it to staff devos. However, the second week I was on support staff I went to staff devos, and it was so clear that God had me go to devos that specific week because of what we were learning about.
The Story:
As nearly 15 of the support staff sat in a cozy living room, we talked about what God may be asking us to sacrifice for the sake of ministry. The man leading us talked about how we may be called to go somewhere else in the world to spread God’s love. Even if that place may make us feel uncomfortable, unsure of the future, or insecure financially. Though for some that may be a hard decision to make. It never really has been for me, and especially with going on this gap year, I (in my head) put a check mark next to that box on my imaginary list of sacrifices.I clearly had already been willing to sacrifice my life for nine months to go to four different countries with AIM, I began to take pride in that thinking I was above this. However, that night I realized what God wanted me to sacrifice, it was something that I put a lot of importance, time, effort, and care into.
Relationships.
Now I still struggle with wording this because when I say that I feel called to sacrifice some of my relationships I don’t mean that God doesn’t want me to have friendships or human connections. I just feel that this may be a season where I have to step away from some of my really close friends, even the ones that push me closer to God. I will be in places in the world where it’s hard to communicate back to the US and even though that may be hard at times, I think it will definitely force me to be more dependent on God, which is my biggest prayer for this gap year!
Through all of this, I’m not saying that God thinks that relationships are bad, or anything of the sort. But for me, I feel as though I’m willing to give up just about anything for God, my materials, my comfort, my money. But I’m realizing that because I hold my relationships with people so dear to my heart, i think that, the fact that they are so important to me is why God wants me to sacrifice them. I think sacrificing my relationships here in the US is giving them to God, and allowing him to decide what will happen and how much we will communicate and what not. For most of them, I feel as though they will be put on pause for nine months, and then hopefully will resume as normal after I return. I think that I won’t be sacrificing them for good or cutting off the friendships all together, but allowing them to take a new shape. I have to be willing to give EVERYTHING up for God, including my relationships. This isn’t just an overnight decision, this is a life time of learning more and more about God, drawing closer to him and committing myself fully to him. He has already sacrificed everything including his son to allow us to have an opportunity to spend eternity with him in Heaven. Now it’s our turn.
