Written on 3/30/19
This past Thursday we heard a teaching on commitment and characters. So many awesome things were spoken, but something that really stuck with me is that sometimes vision comes in the other side of commitment. We first have to commit ourselves and our lives to the Lord, and then after that he will show us his vision for our lives. God wants us to commit to him first because we love him, want to follow him, and live in obedience. God is always asking us to say yes to another unknown, sometimes that new thing may cost more than the last. That cost may not be financial it may be giving up fear or insecurity, but the great thing is that we get to turn in who we aren’t for who we are. We get to give our broken, selfish, controlling, and prideful selves over to Papa and he reminds us of our true identity. That we are his dearly loved children who are enough and complete solely through him. So at the end we were prompted to sit with the Lord and ask him what he wanted us to say yes to, what he wanted us to commit to.
For myself, India immediately came to mind, but I felt like I had already said yes to going and living in India after college, but I knew there was more. In this time, I said yes to the Lord’s will for me in India. Whether that looks like being a tent maker, in teaching at a school but doing missions outside of that, helping Madeline in bringing an organization that brings awareness to human trafficking and stops it, or possibly evangelizing to other tribes, or seeing the tribes be united under God’s name. It was so sweet of Abba to bring up all these ideas, and I couldn’t tell you what will come to fruition, but I can tell you that whether it is one of these things, or something else, he has my yes. Though it will be scary, and nerve wrecking, I want to live in obedience out of my love for my savior and do this thing called life with my Jesus.
The second thing that God brought up was these next months! I have two more months on the race and I still need to walk up everyday and choose into what God has planned, for ministry, myself, and my team. “I say yes to two more months of perseverance, endurance, being solely filled up by God, building relationships even when they will hurt to leave, telling God about my pain and letting him in to help. I say yes to rest, encouragement, and Bible reading. I say yes to falling in love with this country and these people. I say yes to my butt failing asleep, bugs, hot showers, stepping out of comfort zones, deep conversations, vulnerable moments, awful translations, laughs, hills, valleys, turning to Jesus in the midst of it all, checking everything with scripture. I say yes to daily surrender, being in the unknown, my true identity, freedom, and asking for more faith everyday!” (excerpt from my journal) I’ve said “I DO!” to Jesus, in whatever that looks like, so Jesus, here I am. Use me. Send me. Have your way with this life you have given me.
