I love bus rides, especially ones in Vietnam. I've spent more time on buses this month than any other and I'm quite alright with that. But these buses aren't your regular public transportation. Oh no. Think more like moving bunk beds with a sweet view of the land you're traversing in the midst of the night.
Talk about prime time for conversations with Holy Spirit and oh how he delights in speaking truth into our souls.
On this particularly occasion, I'm journeying back to Ho Chi Minh after a month of challenges-turned-celebrations. And there's no wifi (yes, buses come equipped with internet in Vietnam). It's an opportunity to disconnect with the world and plug into His heart.
Let me give you a snippet of the past month: I dreamed big but got denied. My vision didn't match the vision of my authority. I squirmed and squealed, flustered by the outcome, but swallowed the parameters set before me. We set out to find new contacts for Racers to partner with yet found none. We failed in worldly terms ..
But God cares so much more about who I am than what I do. Living out the gospel bears the fruit of good works not the other way around.
One afternoon I envisioned flipping over tables in the restaurant where I sat enjoying potato bacon soup and running down the street screaming and crying. It's honestly how I felt. All I wanted to do was what I couldn't bring myself to do because I had been told no. I walked to our homestay desperate for Jesus.
And that's where Holy Spirit reminded me that he exalts the humble. My time in Vietnam looked radically different than what I pictured, what I desired. But God brought me into a deeper understanding of simply being His daughter rather than His worker. A child knows their worth by their Father; a servant seeks to please their master.
So I surrendered and relented. I pursued love through tears and heartache only to find myself closer to Jesus. In the sharp honesty, I found the joy of knowing nothing else but Christ alone.
And that's irreplaceable. Because God cares so much more about who I am than what I do.
