Part of our month in South Africa was spent in the township of Masiphumelele, endearingly known to its residents as “Masi”. Our host explained to us that Masi was first established in the 1980’s by a group of black South Africans that hoped to find work in the area. They were quickly ran out of the area by the then Apartheid government. It was only after Apartheid ended in the 90’s that black families were able to move to the area, known then as “Site 5”. Families applied to move there and the government assigned tiny plots of land on which they could build shacks to live in. People from the Eastern Cape of South Africa and other countries such as Zimbabwe and Malawi make up the majority of the population, as they desire to live in the Western Cape to find better jobs. The residents changed the name of the township from Site 5 to Masiphumelele (a Xhosa word meaning “we shall prosper”) in the early 90’s to express their hope of what was to come from the opportunity of living in the Western Cape.
Masi is a contrast of darkness and light. There is crime and corruption, poverty and despair, and an overwhelming percentage of people with HIV/AIDS. But at the same time, within the cardboard walls of the small shacks are kind people with beautiful hearts and a willingness to love and live with hope.
[View of the homes in Masi]
During our week in Masi, our team helped care for children in a “creche” (pre-school) during the mornings. Loving on the kids in Masi was interesting because none of them speak English. As they all came from other parts of Africa, they speak a mix of Afrikaans, Xhosa, Zulu, Swahili and more. So care was shown purely through actions. These kids were many times dirty, had runny noses, coughed on our faces, and did not respond to loving discipline very well. But God gave us a heart for these kids. He blessed each of us with kids that broke our hearts and caused us to turn to Him and beg Him to reveal Himself to them. As we could not share His love through our words, we loved them as best we could and leaned on the Father to reveal the rest.
[The precious children at the creche]
In the afternoons in Masi we did street ministry. Street ministry consists of asking the Lord to guide us in the direction He wants us to go and meeting people along the way. As we met people, we listened to their hearts. And as they shared their lives and needs, we listened to the Holy Spirit for guidance in ways we could share truth with, pray for, and love on them individually. Doing this also required full reliance on the Father as it was easy to get distracted by the poverty of Masi.
[Pictures of the homes in the “wetlands” of Masi, the most impoverished section of the township]
We were blessed to meet people that had the courage to share their true needs. We had the opportunity to pray over a tenderhearted woman who struggled with alcoholism and suffered from physical abuse from her children’s father. We met a man ailing from tuberculosis that was recently in a car accident and prayed for true healing over his whole body. And we met several people begging God to show them favor in their pursuit for a job.
But one day as we were walking through Masi, I had an overwhelming feeling of being unworthy. Who was I to come into these people’s homes and proclaim the healing name of Jesus when I continually struggle with fully believing in His healing power? Who was I to speak into a woman’s life about turning away from alcohol and turning to the Lord when I don’t even turn to Him at all times in my own life?
I felt like a hypocrite and felt insignificant and unworthy. I felt helpless as I prayed because I knew when I left Masi at the end of the week I wouldn’t truly be able to help the people we met. And that’s when God shook me and said… Kristin, it’s not about you!
When I feel unworthy of praying over people, when I struggle with fully believing in God’s power, when I feel tired and helpless, God is there… ready to act. Its sad how many times God has to tell me that its not about me, its about Him. I won’t heal or save anyone, He will. And as much as He doesn’t need me, He chooses to use me to express His healing joy to others so that their hearts might be a little more prepared to receive Him.
Going out to pray over people and love on people in any small or big way can be tiring. But its so much more exhausting and impossible doing it on my own and thinking I carry the weight of people’s fate. The truth is God has them. God loves them dearly. And even when I don’t feel like sharing His truth and don’t have the energy to go out and love people… God is calling me to act and move and obey. Because it won’t be me that saves them. He will always show up too.
I am continually learning we won’t succeed without Him. But with Him, we shall prosper.
