When I first started the race I believed that I would come out of this trip with the mental capability to allow myself to backslide from my faith. At times in Africa it appealed to me. I went about my days believing that this was just some trip I was taking to help people physically and see the world. I was afraid to be confident in my Faith. Afraid to be Confident in what the Lord was offering me, A spot at his table. A beautiful place with the horrors of the world pinned firmly beneath our feet.
But I was Afraid, content with the bleak mindset I had before I left. It still appealed to me, the idea that I could get through life on my own wits and cleverness. I was torn, I wanted what all my squad mates and new friends had. What my friend Jared Celosse (world race alumni) had. What my mentor, role model, youth pastor, and close friend Andrew Larsen had. but I didn’t want to be the freak who loved God a little to much. I didn’t want to change but the pressure of this new community and God himself were pushing down on me. I found myself thinking that this lifestyle isn’t for me. I was Afraid to give up the earthly comforts that “made me who I was.”
I was content and fearful of losing this identity I had created through much of high school and my first year of college. Frustrated and confused I allowed myself to feel stuck. Allowed my perception of my peers tell me I wasn’t as good as them. No where near as deserving of such an amazing way of life. And I desperately held on to my past lifestyle passively and quietly refusing to let God in. I was so focused on refusing to change the first two months of the race I completely glossed over the subtle voice of God telling me that it was all going to be okay.
When I shared my testimony to a community of prisoners in Lesotho it hit me (My first time sharing a testimony of faith ever). It hit me like vertical locomotive crashing into the ground. I was just as trapped as all these inmates. The only difference was I had the keys to my freedom safely tucked into my coat pocket. The voice I had been suppressing finally got through and it was no longer soft spoken. No it was shouting now telling me you’re going to be okay Cole.
I was humbled, and I had finally come to terms that having the faith I needed in a relationship with God, he would then be allowed to provide for me so much more than anything I could possibly do on my own. So I let him in. I Allowed God to make clear to me all that he wanted of my life.
Fast forward to my first month here in Nepal. The manistry team (a month out of every race all the men separate from the girls for an all male community to do ministry) are living in an extremely remote village on the outskirts of Chitwan national park along the border of northern India. Ministering to unreached people and discipling the church that had recently popped up in the village God spoke to me in several dreams. He told me that this was only the start to what I would be doing to bring people to him. Whether that meant over seas or in my community back home. As the dreams became more and more frequent I was shown what it is I want to do for a living. His plan for me.
After I return home from the race I plan to peruse a degree in the psychology field. Living in an appointed community has shown me a lot about other people’s lifestyles, where they came from, and the way they think and react to countless life challenges. I want to pursue this field of study and one day become a psychiatrist for young adolescents and teens going through rehabilitation for drug abuse and depression/anxiety. But that’s not all I want to take it a step further and create a program short term and long term for teens coming out of rehab to attend.
This program will be Christian influenced and will act as a discipleship program away from home that teens will be able to attend short term or long term. It will allow them to catch up with credits for school in a healthy environment as well as teach them independence and overall that they are loved unconditionally by someone (God).
This will all be based out of a hostel I aspire to start up in the coming years. It will offer a place for me and my family to possibly live as well as an extra source of income. I want to have it located near the ocean to teach the teens coming through the program how to surf and skim. This will act as a release for possible pent up frustration. As well as teach them that they are capable of conquering difficult challenges placed in front of them.
The participants will be given tasks around the hostel, much like a job. Hopefully with the possibility of it allowing the parents paying for this program to save some of their money. I want this to be a healthy outreach facility that people of all wage brackets can utilize. Price is a big deal to me, I want to be able to help and disciple teens from all backgrounds.
This is the dream God has laid on my heart and I want nothing more than to make this happen. I’m aware that this won’t be an overnight thing that just pops up, but God works in mysterious ways and at his own pace. I know as long as I continue to have steadfast faith he will provide no matter the outcome or route he guides me to follow.
Thank you all that have supported me unconditionally before, leading up to, and currently on the race. Without you guys pushing me in this direction I never would have found my faith in God.
“We all need to be aware of our personal calling. What is a personal calling? It’s God’s blessing, it is the path that God chose for you here on Earth.” – Paulo Coelho, author of the Alchemist
Articulation of thoughts credit to Sam Van Dyke. Worldrace teammate and close friend. A saved teen of God and proper rehabilitation through new vision wilderness therapy.
