written November 15, 2010 by Jamie
I am relieved to be writing this from home and not the scene
of an accident.
Today I almost killed someone.
I was blinded by the snow, feeling the weight of the 12
passenger van pulling me down the snow packed mountain roads. I braked gently
as I weaved in and around each curve. The road was mostly abandoned. Though I lacked
confidence, the van screamed experience, perhaps through its wear and tear. I
had few drivers going in the same direction of me but when I did come upon one,
they would pull over and let me pass. I kept a steady pace of about 35 mph when
I could see clearly and 20 mph if I was going downhill. I was approaching a
place where I could stop and scrap the ice off of my windshield wipers. I was
anxious as I was losing my visibility. Less than a mile away from this stopping
point, the van lost control. Three cars were approaching me following closely
behind a snow plow. I entered their lane just before the last car passed. I saw
headlights and a small, blue Subaru, feet from my dash. As I tugged on the
steering wheel it pulled harder in the direction I didn’t want to go. All I
could do was let go. I watched, waited and maybe even closed my eyes while
preparing for impact. I know something stood between us as a bumper. All I can
imagine is that it drove through the van. I was angled sideways now facing the
mountain, the other car safely behind me. It had nowhere to go but over the
edge, but yet I heard nothing. The van bounced over back into my lane hitting a
post and pushing my side mirror in, leaving no damage but a scrap and a
powerful reminder God has something bigger for me.
pounding through my chest, see tears
streaming down my face and hear praises pouring out. I pulled into the gas
station and just sat amazed, thankful I had a place to get off the mountain. I
was terrified to keep going. Then a thought occurred to me, if God wanted me dead
that would have been His chance. Surely He wanted me to get home. So I pressed
on in faith. As I drove up and around another mountain, the roads became
clearer. Twenty minutes passed, soon the fog was lifted and the sun came out. As
I rounded a corner that lead me into the valley I saw blue skies hovering over
white trees and black, wet pavement.
