I need to take some time to pause and reflect before this all gets off the ground this evening.
This past year has absolutely flown by, and I was not ready for it. I blew through a semester of grad school in a blink, summer seemed like it lasted a week, these last two months have been a frantic wave of goodbyes, and all of a sudden it was New Years’ Day, and I was standing in my living room with a packed bag in front of me, wondering where all that time had gone. Buried in there were international vacations and weekend trips, my graduation and several weddings, training camp and so many new friends. But what I really want to focus on here is what has happened in the last two months.
Training camp in October kick-started the Race experience for me, and as a result of what happened there (read more here and here), during the two months between then and launch I became focused on intentionality. Being intentional with preparation (both spiritual and physical), and intentional with relationships (both with friends at home and friends from my World Race squad). There were times in those months – quite often, actually – that I was over the whole waiting period and just wanted to get on with it. I am not a patient person by nature, and even as I write this I can hear you laughing from the other side of the screen. I had experienced incredible community with my team for ten days, and by the last day I was ready to jump right into the Race, because I didn’t want it to end.
Through this waiting period, though, God has been showing me how important every minute of it was, and how beautiful this period of waiting could be. Looking back now, as I sit in my hotel room in Atlanta getting ready for my whole squad to be back together in just a few hours, I know that it made a difference in shaping the way the next year will look. Here are just a couple of the highlights:
My Faith Partner: Towards the end of training camp, we were asked to spend the next month or so prayerfully considering asking a friend or mentor from home to come alongside us in this journey over the next year. That person would be intentional about following my blog, regularly praying for me and my team, and being in touch with me frequently to check up on how I am doing. They would also be responsible for helping me re-adjust when I come home, which would be sometime in mid-January of 2020. Had I been asked to do this over the summer, I honestly don’t think I could have given a name. However, God’s timing really is perfect, and he brought an incredible couple into my life in August that could not be more fit for the job.
Steve and Trena have been my small group leaders for the last four months, and getting to know them and spend time with their family during that time has been such a breath of fresh air into my life that God knew I needed. It has been years since I had someone like that – a friend, a mentor, a spiritual guide – in my life, and I didn’t realize how badly I needed that until I had it again. When I got home from camp, one of the first things I did was ask Steve if he would take on that role, and he enthusiastically accepted. Being from a missions background, he understood what I’d be going through, and knew how important all of these responsibilities were. I know I have the backing of so many incredible supporters, but having this role filled gives me even more confidence as I walk into this new chapter of my life that I know I would not have otherwise felt. We met weekly, outside of small group, to talk about all of this until I left, and it honestly made all the difference.
Listening Prayer: This is a term that I honestly don’t think that I had ever heard until two months ago, and the more I learn and experience it, the more I wonder why it is has been absent from my church experience up until this point. The importance of prayer as a conversation, rather than one person talking at God for a few minutes every day, is such an important concept. Learning to hear God’s voice is something that I started working on during camp, and have continued to work on during these last two months. At the beginning of November, our leadership team gave us a devotional focused on this very idea, and it has changed the way I view my prayer life, and the way I view God.
Granted, I am honestly terrible at devotionals, and even more honestly, I still haven’t finished this one, even though it’s only thirty days long. However, from what I have done so far, I have learned more than I ever have on this subject from my entire life of church attendance. God wants to hear from us, but He also wants us to hear from Him. He desires conversation. He desires relationship. And the more I read, the more I desire that as well. I want to spend the next year really trying to learn to hear what God has been speaking to me – what I might have been missing out on this whole time. I want to hear Him speak over my sin and lead me out into His presence. I want to hear Him speak to my team as we partner in ministry all over the world, and follow His guidance instead of my own impulse. Most importantly, I want to learn how to make this a daily practice.
The Goodbyes: I had a lot of people to say goodbye to, and a lot of them don’t live near me. My tour of goodbyes has lasted almost this whole period – I’ve made a trip to Portland, two trips to Seattle, and a trip to California, as well as planned several goodbye meetups in Spokane. Each one was good. Each one was needed. Each one was a reminder that I have surrounded myself with some incredible people over the years, and above all else, this time has shown me how much it has all mattered.
With every person I left knowing I wouldn’t see them for over a year, the idea that I was really doing thissunk in more and more. I never got emotional – if you know me, you know that’s just who I am as a person. It’s likely that all of the emotions I feel like I should have felt with each of those goodbyes is going to catch up to me around month three or four and hit me like a ton of bricks, but that’s a problem for me to deal with when I get there. For now, please know that just because I acted casual doesn’t mean I won’t miss all of you. I’ll let you know when the crying finally starts.
The best goodbyes were the ones that ended with prayer. The last time my small group met for the year, they all laid hands on me and prayed over me and my team – for unity, for guidance, for protection. On my last day of work, my coworkers bought me gifts, and prayed over this new chapter in my life. Five days ago, on my last Sunday at church, my pastor ended the service by inviting anyone that knew me well to come up front to pray over me, and my family came to be a part of that. And the last, and most difficult goodbye, ended with my parents praying over me at the airport yesterday before I walked through security. I feel so loved, and so covered in prayer. I feel more ready than I’ve ever been, even though I’m probably not as ready as I should be. I loved these last two in-between months for the time that I had with all of these people, and I wouldn’t trade that time for anything.
This is all to say – I’ve had a dang good two months, and I can now see that God knew exactly what He was doing in the timeline that I had no real control over. As of today, my squad will all be back together. As of today, this adventure can truly begin. This is when the real fun starts.
Over the next week, would you be praying for my team and these last few days of preparation? We have three more days of training, and we fly out of the country for Columbia on January 7thto begin our ministry abroad. This is going to be a whirlwind of a week, and I could not be more excited to see how this journey begins.
