Leaving Training Camp, there was one thing I was sure of: we have an awesome team… stacked even. Living with our new family of 7 was going to be fun, maybe even easy. But if you ask any family of 2 or more, you will hear that community living isn’t always fun or easy… especially when you’ve interacted with each other for only a week.
Community living means growth and change which can hurt!
Iron sharpens iron, so one sharpens another Proverbs 27:17
Our first week in Masiphumelele, South Africa I was confronted with a harsh confession. My teammate, Larisa approached me one evening to apologize for some thoughts she had been feeling towards me. As shocked as I was to hear this hard confession, it didn’t surprise me much. After all, it seemed that she had been giving me a lot of constructive feedback after street ministry. It took me a moment to process what was happening as I listened to her repeat the apology and explanation of how these thoughts may “pop” back up again in her mind. I found myself boldly speaking, “Yeah, but you’re here talking to me about it, which means Jesus must be working it out in you. I should feel privileged that He is using me to do it.”
As Larisa left, I felt mildly perplexed. I thought, “Wow. That was unexpected.” The beauty of the situation is that the Spirit protected my heart from taking this confrontation personally. (People who know me closely will understand the significance of this.) Her apology gave me peace knowing God was at work in both our hearts. I went to bed feeling blessed for Larisa’s boldness to discuss this issue with me… Then morning came.
Intimidation can be lethal. The freedom a child of God possesses to speak boldly can be destroyed. The result is an insecurity that can suffocate a believer. Intimidation became my enemy the morning I realized my street ministry team was to consist of Cody, me, and… Larisa. I was intimidated to speak to the people we would encounter for fear of my every word being critiqued and later becoming feedback. Nope, I wasn’t going to speak until I was 100% sure that the Spirit was telling me to. Even then, He would have to open my mouth. That way if Larisa gave me more feedback, I would know that it wasn’t a hat that fit me.
The next 2 ½ weeks I experienced what I like to call Holy Spirit vomit. I would hold back the word I felt God was giving me until He would open my mouth and I would throw up the message. To my surprise, Larisa rarely gave me feedback and when she did it was always positive. Although my admiration was growing, I still struggled with feelings of being inadequate for her.
Debrief in Nelspruit allowed me to share this fear with the team. It was then that Larisa shared that she never struggled with those feelings again. Her vulnerability allowed chains to be broken! I realize the Lord taught me a valuable lesson through this experience… Do not speak until I tell you.
I am happy to inform you that Larisa and I have only grown closer. She is an amazing woman of God and full of wisdom. I find the Spirit directing me to seek her counsel often. Larisa’s ability to find you right where you are at is admirable. I thank God for giving me such an awesome woman to walk with me on this journey of transformation.
We now realize this experience was simply iron-sharpening-iron.
What about you? Who has the Lord placed in your life to sharpen you? Have you been able to recognize His purpose for it? I encourage you to thank that person for being a vessel the Spirit is using to transform you more into the likeness of Christ.
Be blessed!!
