I wouldn’t be able to post anything without first posting my testimony. Although, I know racers will read this in which I would have liked to share this first in person, which I am sure will still happen, and others who maybe I would have never shared this with, I have learned that God demands glory. All a testimony is is portraying the glory of God. “your story is His glory” in other words. And I must start anything by declaring He is worthy of it all.
This is a detailed verson, but I purposely left some stuff out
Ever since I can remember I was taught, Jesus Christ was my real father. Thanks to my parents and the loving home I was brought up in, God was and is always number one in my family. So my decision to become a believer was etched in stone by God blessing me with a divine family. I did not deserve my family but God so graciously blessed me with my family that showed me that Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life. Verses I grew up with were John 3:16, Romans 1:4, and 1 Peter 1:3-5. Each of these vividly displayed the framework for our salvation and eternal life in Jesus Christ. To my personal choice, I got baptized in the sixth grade, but from sixth grade on I grew more and more in love with the world. Throughout high school and my first year of college, I was a “lukewarm” Christian. I loved God and knew he was the truth, but yet I enjoyed rebelling against my family upbringing and doing what I thought was “fun.” I think this mainly had to do with the fact, that my faith was not my own. I was riding off the coat tails of my family. I would go back and forth, hot and cold, church regularly to not as often, and on and on. I often related to Paul in the Book of Romans stating, “I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.” He later states it is the sin inside him that takes over. That was me for five years, from freshman year of High School to freshman year of College. From my senior year of high school to now about to graduate from college, my faith is night and day. In the same way as said in 1 John 1:5-7 “…God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all…” The light has taken over my darkness. Five years ago in my senior year of high school, I overvalued my success in basketball and football; I was involved in a worldly relationship with my girlfriend, and was full of pride. Meanwhile, God was being pushed to the side. The enemy had me where he wanted me. Filling my head with lies like “God will always be there, enjoy yourself while your young.” I got good grades, I had success on the field and court, and I should be able to enjoy myself. So I did. I started drinking alcohol my freshman year and it was no different my senior year. I would find ways to lie to my parents because in my eyes, there was nothing wrong with getting drunk on the weekends as long as I got the “results” I always got. Those results would lead to getting an athletic scholarship right? Wrong. Putting all my eggs in one basket in both sports, only to have them all taken away. Definitely the sovereignty of God at play here as I received no scholarship offers and had to settle to play basketball for Grossmont Community College in San Diego. I lived in the dorms at San Diego State University and my now almost two year girlfriend was down the street. My first semester was the hardest as I struggled to meet people with similar interests, was praying for Christian friends, was praying for just friends in general, and as the ministries I was trying on campus weren’t working, it quickly led to unhappiness and being depressed. And in the early morning of December 4th, 2010, I attempted suicide by cutting my wrist. The events that had transpired that night before led up to that valley where I had never been before. I was drunk coming back from my girlfriend’s sorority event, and decided to jay walk across the street only to end up running away from the cop that awaited me on the other side. I was arrested and charged with possession of a fake I.D and running away from the cops. The cop had told me that they were going to contact Grossmont, and I would be kicked off the basketball team. I lost it. Sitting in the back of the cop car, wondering who I had become, the cop decided not to take me to jail and let me go. Thoughts quickly entered my mind of how I could never tell my parents. When I had the most supportive family in the world, the enemy convinced me that I had no one, not even God. The days following that dreadful night, I was appalled at what I did. That wasn’t me. But it wasn’t the following days that God was going to use for his glory, it was the following months. As second semester rolled around, I was doing better. I quickly found out that the cop was just trying to scare me, as I was still on the basketball team. I also had a new found love for my family because of the support I realized I always had. But unfortunately that night didn’t change me from wanting to go out and drink, and be in the ways of the world. As I still wandered in those ways, I began to feel emptiness. Those things weren’t fulfilling anymore. And when those feelings started hitting me, God began to tug on my heart. Beginning around this time, I heard for really the first time, ever clearly the Lord’s voice. God created some divine appointments of people witnessing to me, but mostly God had just started the process of softening my heart and really starting to break in. I also started writing my prayers in a journal and devoting quiet times to him each day. I began to just yearn to be “on fire” for Jesus. I kept praying and praying for Christian friends. And then in the start of summer, God answered my prayers. I went to a discipleship group, in which my brother’s best friend was one of the leaders. I fell in love immediately. Everyone was so vulnerable, and shared everything on their heart. It was exactly what I needed and I felt at home. I remember crying out to Jesus, just praising him for his perfect timing and patience with me. The next day, God broke up me and my girlfriend. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, as all my time was now devoted to going to the discipleship group and eternity group, which was co-ed. That summer, my faith grew tremendously. What I so yearned for during second semester of becoming “on fire” for God, was now a wildfire. I couldn’t get enough of Jesus Christ. The brothers and sisters in Eternity Group were so strong in their faith and it only built me up even stronger as well. I was so in love with Jesus and so fulfilled. I was never going back to my old ways. He had changed my desires from this world to just desiring him and his spirit. At the end of my sophomore year at Grossmont, in which I really developed a “secret place” relationship with the Father, through prayer and fasting, I committed to go play basketball at Biola University. I am now at the end of my two years here at Biola and about to graduate. There is much that has gone in my two years here as well and one of the biggest ones is the incredible weight God has put on my heart for missions. At the end of my junior year, God for the first time opened my eyes to maybe a missionary is an option after college. I had always wanted to missions before, but because of basketball taking so much of my time, summers were my only option to do so. Opportunities never arose, and I think God was sovereign over all of it of course. Also, I had always thought I would maybe go to graduate school or maybe coach basketball, but never considered doing missions full-time before. This process ultimately led to decision, through prayer, that this is what I would do post-graduation. But where? And with who? Throughout my last year at Biola, I increasingly prayed about options. My only requirements for were three things: 1) That I would be uncomfortable, living in Orange County all my life, I undoubtedly have been comfortable all my life. As I read the Scriptures, I do not see many comforts for the disciples apart from the Holy Spirit’s presence 2) That the community would be strong, I have realized the amazing gift and importance of community. I would be nowhere in my faith, without the group of believers that surround me with love and push me to want more of his presence and 3) That I would be able to freely use my giftings. I not only wanted an organization that believed in the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but went after them. I wanted to freely go after healing, be able to prophesy, etc and use the gifts that I believe God is still using for the good of the church today. For most of the year, the only option considered was YWAM. Until a friend asked if I had ever heard of the world race? I said no, but began researching. What a divine question as I look back, as now I am jumping on this ship called the world race. I have never done missions before besides a weekend trip to Mexico in 8th grade (if that counts) and now I am about to embark on this mission, that could be described as a mission on steroids. 11 countries in 11 months, I am so excited for this journey. I have lived for myself, but that ends ultimately in unhappiness. I have lived for Jesus Christ, which doesn’t always promise easy street, in fact quite the opposite, but at least I know where it ends. It ends in victory over the enemy, but more importantly eternal life with my father.
