All last month in Albania The Lord was breaking my brain… He asked me to stop questioning and to stop trying to reason through everything He put in front of me. He was asking me to silence my mind. He asked me to do this in every area of my life including my quiet times…. He would ask me to just rest my brain.
I would sit down on many occasions planning on doing about a 30 min bible study. I wouldn't even get half way through until I would give up and stand up. The science part of my brain would question everything. Literally the thought always crossed my mind… 'Why are you attempting to believe all of this when you cannot prove any of it?'
How could I be on the World Race and not believe? How could I be a team leader of 5 girls and not know where my faith stood? How was I supposed to tell the gospel to others when I still debated whether or not if it even happened?
One night after our squad Matthew bible study, I sat down next to a friend and shared all of this with her. I knew that my double-mindedness had to stop. I explained how I was struggling with faith. I shared with her that I always had since I made the decision to follow Jesus. She gave me a verse…
Psalm 62:5 – Find rest, o my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.
From this conversation it was obvious. I had to begin relying on God to show me who He is. I could not rely on any equation, scientific test, or even common sense. I would have to stop questioning, debating, and reasoning all together if I was ever going to give Him a real chance to work in my heart. I knew all I could do is rest my mind…. and wait.
Last night I found out one of my squad-mates, Jake Fields,* was healed from 2 autoimmune diseases that he had been battling since he was 18. He was healed because he had the faith to believe that he would be. The squad laid hands on him during worship one night and the Holy Spirit healed him. The next day he was able to run over 6 mins and he even sprinted. <- This is HUGE.
God used this true situation above to show me where my faith lies. One day I will not question whether or not one of my friends is healed. I will not need to receive to proof.. I will believe because there is only one true God.
I will keep resting my brain. I must wait on The Lord.
*Check out Jake's blog for the entire story: jacobfields.theworldrace.org
