It has crossed my mind the past few weeks that I am in over my head and probably crazy for wanting to go on the World Race. If you could see my bank account right now you would probably laugh at me!
The enemy has been feeding me lies since I was accepted and sometimes– because I'm human– I start to believe them.
I can't keep up with bills and I want to raise $18,700 to become a missionary for a year? YEP.
I have four weeks to raise $4,000 to meet my deadline to launch in January with my squad? YEP.
I am looking for someone to buy my 2011 Ford Escape for more than it's worth? I SURE AM! I can't afford to make payments while I'm gone and I still owe $10,000 on it. Whatever I sell it for I will need to cover the left overs.
I still don't have all of the equipment and supplies I need to even go on the race? Unfortunately, I don't.
But sitting in the car one day the Lord brought back my favorite memory from camp – There was a moment of worship during training camp that completely captivated and overwhelmed my soul. We were in the midst of singing reckless love which I've sang countless times before. (go look up Cory Asbury's explanation of "Reckless Love" you won't regret it!) My squad mentor spoke out about the reckless love of our Lord– We are made in His image and we can have this reckless love for those around us! We began to sing;
"There's no shadow You won't light up
Mountain You won't climb up
I'm coming after YOU;
There's no wall You won't kick down
Lie You won't tear down
I'm coming after YOU"
This moment wrecked me. This is why I was called. I wasn't thinking or caring about myself or my financial standing when I applied for the race. All I cared and still care about is reaching the lost and loving people. I love to love people!
So yes I am crazy and reckless.
Crazy to think I can raise $4,000 in three weeks. Crazy to think I can sell my car for more than its worth. Reckless for leaving what's comfortable and venturing into the unknown to love people I've never met all over the world.
I'm crazy in love with my Father and in case you haven't heard He is in the miracle business!
