I’m not exactly sure why, but last night I felt compelled to add this to my weblog. It wouldn’t hurt if the IT guys at AIM could perform some magic and make this post look like my very first post- because this is background material. I was thinking last night about the potential of a lot of people viewing these blogs and I wanted them to know the rest of the story… or at least more of it… about how I got here. So what follows is what I posted to my Xanga about 12 hours after my wife died.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
My best friend died today. Kimberly Katherine Batey White passed quietly at Ochsner Hospital at 1:31 am this morning. I was holding one hand and her sister was holding the other. Kim lived 34 and half years with Cystic Fibrosis. Her parents were told when she was 6 weeks old that she would not live beyond childhood. But she did. Then she wasn’t supposed to make it beyond her teen years, but she did. Then the magic number was 29…but she surpassed that too. To her parent’s and sister’s credit, they simply never allowed Kim to think of herself as disabled in any way. And to Kim’s credit, she never acted that way. When a lesser person could have taken advantage of the situation- of the frequent illnesses and hospitilazations – Kim just worked that much harder. She graduated near the top of her class- often doing her homework from a hospital bed.
When we were dating, she tried to give me an “out”. Basically, she told me that her lifespan would probably be limited and I could call it quits if I wanted to. Of course, I didn’t call it quits. I told her first of all that none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow. Even today is a gift we don’t deserve. And I told her that I would rather live some of my life with her than live any of it without her. We were married May 31, 1997. Just over a year later she recieved an incredible gift of life from a young teenager in Baton Rouge- a double lung transplant. Without it, Kim would only have lived another year or two. With the new lungs she enjoyed 8 and a half years of quality life. She was a full-time Registered Nurse. She was a Youth Minister’s wife; she never knew when we’d have a house full of kids! She put up with me. She even let me buy a new Jeep a few months ago! She went snow skiing in New Mexico and snorkeling in the Caribbean. She hiked to the bottom and back of the 2nd deepest canyon in the Eastern US with me. I took her to the Ballet one time…because I’m classy like that! And to her favorite Bed & Breakfast in Natchez a couple of times.
She loved cats and at times took on a variety of cat-like characteristics- like clawing and hissing at me! She had a dry sense of humor and was especially pleased with herself whenever she said something witty- which was pretty often. And after nearly 9 years of marriage, we never ate off our China! Dang it!
I’m a better person because of her. I think I always will be. I think most people that knew her were blessed by her. We prayed together a few weeks ago that whatever happened that our lives would glorify God. I’m satisfied that her life did just that.
Lyrics from Wayne Watson- Home Free
I’m trying hard not to think you unkind
But Heavenly Father
If you know my heart
Surely you can read my mind
Good people underneath the sea of grief
Some get up and walk away
Some will find ultimate relief
Chorus
Home Free, eventually
At the ultimate healing we will be Home Free
Home Free, oh I’ve got a feeling
At the ultimate healing
We will be Home Free
Out in the corridors we pray for life
A mother for her baby, A husband for his wife
Sometimes the good die young
It’s sad but true
And while we pray for one more heartbeat
The real comfort is with you
You know pain has little mercy
And suffering’s no respecter of age, of race or position
I know every prayer gets answered
But the hardest one to pray is slow to come
Oh Lord, not mine, but Your will be done
Let it be…
Chorus
Home Free, eventually
At the ultimate healing we will be Home Free
Home Free, oh I’ve got a feeling
At the ultimate healing
We will be Home Free
