I can’t believe I’m actually here. I’m sitting here in Europe because of all of your support. In the very beginning I honestly did not trust that God could actually bring me here. It blows my mind how I was proved so wrong. Now I’m here in my next ministry site already having our first goodbye on the trip over with.
The first two weeks in Lezhe were definitely some interesting weeks. We learned what a true servants heart is while working on George’s farm. From scooping pig poop, herding sheep, lime-washing all of the walls, unloading hay, to helping in the kitchen, we learned to thank God for it all.
Time is going by so fast already! Tirana is going to be much different than Lezhe and I am so ready for what will be thrown at us.
This new season of my life has already having such a big impact on me. With that being said, I’m going to dig deep because that’s something that God has been pressing on my heart for a while now.
My whole life I have always been one to hold emotions in. No matter what, I thought I would appear strong if I seemed like I had it together. I believed that people would admire me for my strength instead of vulnerability. I thought that it would somehow be a good thing if I seemed strong even if inside I had a whirlwind of feelings. I believed that it was better to always be the one that people could come to instead of being the one that would go to others. I had no idea how to communicate with God about my emotions. I would thank him when things were good then be mad and confused when things weren’t, instead of just thanking him for the incredible God that he is.
I recently just heard a phrase that really opened my eyes. It went something like this…we literally have the image of God within us so why do we view emotions as a bad thing when they directly come from him. I believe that God has been telling me that for a while now (pretty much my whole life) but I have been too wrapped up in my own head to listen to what he had to say.
I grew up in an atmosphere where things weren’t always the easiest but I would never change the way things were because they are the reason I am sitting here today. I grew up not practicing much communication at all between myself and others and between myself and God. That Is most definitely something that I need to work on but I feel like the first step of that for me is finally listening to what God is telling me about emotions and being able to share them with others. I never realized how important communication truly is until I’ve been placed in this tight of a community.
This journey is full of a lot of “news’” for me. This journey has thrown me out of my comfort zone kicking and screaming. But the thing about this journey so far is that I have never felt so at peace about anything in my life. Even though I’ve only been in Albania for 2 and a half weeks, I fully know that this is going to be a new season of a lot of growth in my life. I just hope that this will not only be a season of growth for myself but for some of those who are on this journey with me at home. I believe that I was brought here for a lot of reasons and I really believe that this is one of them.
“If you hold onto your life you will lose it, but if you let go of your life you will save it” Luke 17:33
