Here I am in the Philippines, already on month 6 of my race and I can honestly tell you, it has been nothing like I have expected. I have had some of the best days of my life and I’ve also had some of the hardest. On those great days, the whole world is looking up– I hear the Lords voice so clearly & feel like I have my life together…but on the hard days it takes a lot out of me to not just chose the easy way out by packing my backpack and hoping on a plane home.
The Philippines has been a whole new adventure in itself. Coming from Albania where I felt so called to be, I had pretty high expectations of what this new country was going to look like, how I was going to feel about it, and what I would be doing there. I expected a lot of things out of our new hosts, my team, and even more out of myself.
I like to be in control of things. My favorite part of this race is the fact that I get to make this trip exactly what I want it to be. Expectations and control have been 2 pretty big components that the Lord has really been changing my view on this past 3 months…
I’m going to be real with you guys- as absolutely amazing & life changing this trip has been for me, it has also been pretty dang challenging. My expectations for these past 3 months & the control I love to have over certain situations has been thrown on the ground, stomped on, and then rubbed in some dirt on top of that. I struggled with the fact that I wasn’t feeling the exact same feelings I felt in Albania, we can only use wifi once a week, the 13 hour time difference from back home, and I even struggled with the little things like having to take cold bucket showers (which I’ve actually grown to not hate).
Sometimes I think I forget to remind myself that I’m still human. Coming on the race I didn’t receive a superpower where nothing would be hard anymore, I wouldn’t miss home, and cockroaches wouldn’t bother me. But one thing I’ve been growing to learn is that there is so much beauty in the Lord taking every expectation that I have and wiping my slate clean so He can make something even more beautiful than I could ever put together myself. These past 3 months have been a little bit more of a challenge for me and you know what, that is okay. I’m a strong believer in knowing the Lord gives us exactly what we need & never any more than we can handle.
Through all of these challenges I’ve learned to give a little more grace and be a whole lot more patient. I’ve learned that the Lord’s timing is so impeccably perfect & He knows our needs, wants, and desires and meets us right in the middle. But most importantly I’ve learned to seek trust and truth in the Lord’s plans for me at the moment & how to find genuine joy in complete contentment.
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“We went through fire and water yet You have brought me to a place of abundance. Come and listen, all who honor God, I will tell you what He has done for me.” Psalm 66:12-16
-These verses have given me a whole lot of comfort recently. Life is messy sometimes. But the cool thing about our God is He takes that messiness and turns us into living, breathing testimonies of His faith & brings us to a place of abundance where we can walk in peace with Him.
