If you know me, you know that I was raised in a pretty conservative Mexican household. My parents only spoke Spanish, cooked traditional foods and followed traditional gender roles. As a result, at an early age I learned men ought to provide financially, cut the grass, bbq during special occasions and the woman ought to clean the house, cook every day, and iron the men’s clothing.
I call this machismo culture, some call it patriarchy. Label as you please.
Growing up, as the only girl among four brothers, I obviously didn’t think this was fair.
Why did I have to clean the house while my brothers watched wrestling? Why did I have to wash all the dishes if my brothers used most of the dishes? Why did my brothers get to join baseball leagues and I wasn’t allowed to play softball?
These questions always ran through my head. Questions filled with frustration, anger but mostly loneliness.
So I expressed these emotions the way I knew how; I talked back, was rude and inconsiderate, refused to do chores. However, as time passed and I got older, I learned that this didn’t help my familial situation, it actually made it worse. I was actually hurting my mother more so than my intended targets, the men in my family.
As time passed, college intensified my feelings of anger and frustration towards men. I took courses that taught me to label what I was facing as gender inequality. The labeling of my experience did not help me cope but only made me a more bitter-frustrated-lonely-outspoken-independent woman.
Let’s just say, knowledge didn’t set me free.
Fast forwarding to 2015, I no longer label my experience as a gender issue but more as a world issue. Yes, I am aware that these issues exist in many cultures, even here in the US, but that is only because we are all broken people.
The last couple months I have dedicated a lot of my time learning more about the character of Jesus by reading The Gospel (books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, John).
How was Christ while on earth? How did He treat people? How did He treat women? What was His personality like? Did He get upset and frustrated like me? Or was He passive and spiritual like society makes Him seem?
This desire to learn more about Jesus’ character began when I decided to become a full-time missionary.
Jesus was a missionary Himself.
He traveled with The Twelve and met peoples’ basic needs.
He met people where they were.
He fed the hungry by providing fish/bread.
He also healed the sick.
But overall, Jesus taught me that He truly cared about everyone’s well being; even the demon possessed, the woman on the well, children, tax collectors, fishermen, etc.
Most importantly, His actions taught me a lot about His character.
He showed me that He too got hungry, tired, sad, upset, dissapointed, frustrated, firm, direct, assertive, honest, caring, selfless, forgiving, understanding, encouraging, compassionate, & prayerful. He was human, like me.
In my 27 years of life I have never found a role model like Jesus. No woman or man on this earth embodies His awesomeness of a person. He was perfect but was also human. He is who I strive to be like every single day.
Despite the fact that I still struggle witnessing gender inequality in my parent’s household & in society (I still talk back and can be rude at times), I choose to be more like Jesus.
So you know what, let’s forget the labels.
I no longer label myself a feminist.
I no longer label myself a Christian.
I am simply a Follower of Jesus Christ.
I am a broken person whose daily goal is to be more Christ-like.
I am a broken person who chooses to embody His character shown in The Gospel.
This brings everlasting peace and comfort to my heart.
This is true joy.
