Let’s be real, I had a tough time in ministry this month. Most of the time I felt useless. Like I wasn’t making a difference. I felt like I wasn’t being used to my full potential. Whatever that meant in my eyes.
Some background information about our ministry this month. We partnered with Living Hope Ministries in Port St. Johns, South Africa with Solomon. His goal having us there was to help him build relationships with two of the local schools in town by reaching out to students and teachers in those schools. A very broad spectrum of things to do, to say the least.
I started my first day observing classes. Imagine a class of 75-80 students, 3 high school students to a seat, in one small classroom. The teacher is lecturing in both English and Xhosa simultaneously, while writing notes using chalk. Let’s not even talk about the lack of differentiation (made me sad).
After a few classroom observations and class presentations I was ready for more. Don’t get me wrong, I like visiting schools, being in the classroom and checking out teacher strategies, speaking to students kids and learning new content. However, after a while it got old.
I realized I needed to search for more things to do, which was a learning process for me. I’m used to being told what to do. I guess this goes back to my childhood, grade school, college and work days where I was used to being told what to do. We weren’t given many opportunities to be creative & spontaneous in the public school. I remember being given a task and I did it, but in this case I wasn’t given one so I had to sought my own, which to be honest, it was such a frustrating process for me.
It forced me to get out of my comfort zone, be creative and reach out to people that didn’t speak much English. Plus, being in a different country, in a school that spoke another language, made me more nervous and hesitant to do things I would normally do back home.
I caught myself feeling frustrated, unmotivated and upset that I was not being assigned something to do (seeing I was free labor and they were not using me).
After a few days, I knew I had to take this up to God (I know, it took some time lol). I told Him I was feeling frustrated, unmotivated and upset. I told Him I didn’t want to feel like this, especially on the missionary field. After complaining like a baby, I asked God how He wanted to use me in the high school. I didn’t know how so I needed help from Him before things got worse. And for Him to give me joy in the process because I sure wasn’t feeling all that pleased in this situation.
I went ahead and continued on with my ministry. God gave me ideas on what tasks to do day in and day out, and He helped me find joy while doing them.
A few days later…..God definitely showed Himself. Clearly showed Himself.
Ahhhh, He is so God.
God sent me Zandile.
God showed me I was making a difference. I was making an impact. Even if it wasn’t at the high school, I had made an impact with the elementary school kiddos.
(More info: The rest of my teammates were doing ministry in the local elementary school and I would go with them once in a while to bond with the little ones…because let’s be honest they are cuter & nicer lol).
One of those days, I met a cute & sweet fourth grader named Zandile. She had the sweetest eyes, cutest shaved head and limited communicated skills due to her shyness. I asked her a question in English and she would either nod, yes or no. It was funny. Many times I wasn’t sure if she understood my questions so I just let it go. Despite our lack of communication, we got along well and she liked to be around my team and I.
We were walking home one day from the park and she saw where we lived. A few days later she randomly shows up to our house after school. We played uno with her, colored books and played in the hammock. She came over pretty much everyday. Little by little she brought her homies with her to our house, it was cute. Plus, she wrote me a few letters telling me she loved me, which made my heart melt.
With all that said, God used Zandile to show me that my work in Port St. Johns didn’t go unnoticed. He showed me that ministry doesn’t always have to happen in your assigned location but it can happen anywhere, after work hours, on your walk home, at the grocery store, etc.
I limited myself in thinking that making an impact only happened during my assigned ministry hours of the day, but it doesn’t. We can make an impact everywhere we go, anytime of the day, with anyone we interact with.
This is what I learned this month.
Can’t wait to see what God teaches me month two!
