"In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
-Proverbs 3:6
-Proverbs 3:6
I am a man that hates change. My whole life I have never been one to adapt well to change.
I have been very happy lately. I was living in a season of complete joy. There was very little that could cause anything to bring me down, even when a teammate felt lead to go home. I was loving God, loving people, and loving life.
I went into our squads debrief in Nicaragua last week on a high note. I had a talk with one of my squad mates how us as Christians go through different seasons in our life, to help us grow in our faith. I was agreeing but really didn’t think that applied to me because all I had been experiencing for the most part was joy. Well I soon found out when we least expect something that is when God shows up.
As we were heading into the last day of debrief our leaders threw a big curveball at the squad saying that some of the teams were going to be changed. I spent the rest of the day hoping that my team would not be switched.
As we headed to dinner, Anton grabbed me and said the leaders wanted to meet with our team. My heart dropped. I sat there in shock as I found out that not only was I getting placed on a different team but my entire team was being disassembled.
I begin to question and doubt my leaders. This was my team. This was my family. This was Team Pursuit. You can’t break us up.
The next day I meet with my new team. I already knew most of them pretty well because our teams had served together in El Salvador. But this wasn’t my team. These weren’t the people I had spent every minute of the past 3 months with. Who I had poured my heart out to and whom I loved. This wasn’t my family. The tears began to flow.
Yeah I said it. Clark Moser, with the strong-man persona, was weeping like a baby. The weird thing was, the night before, a squad mate challenged me to make sure I was actually grieving the team change and not burying my true emotions, which is something I have been known to do in the past.
I was over it. I didn’t want a new team. I didn’t want to even be here anymore (notice how much I love changes).
All of these emotions and frustrations lead to an awful travel experience to the Philippines. I was depressed to be around my Team Pursuit members as well as being around my new team members. I got pissed for no valid reason at some of the people on the squad who I consider my closest friends and value their friendship tremendously.
My new team and I arrived in the Philippines and I was still in a bit of a haze. I spent the first two days in a huge slump. I honestly don’t remember much of those days. I wasn’t present at all.
I knew I needed to get it together, and move on. This was my new team and this was the environment that I was put in.
Still in a haze, the morning of the third day here, I woke up extremely early. Lately I have loved getting up really early and spending some time in reflection and with the Lord. It was this day the Lord decided it was time for me to get over myself.
It’s hard to explain but the Lord gave me a serious pep talk that rocked my world. He poured out His love on me telling me to get over myself and live for Him and not myself. I realized I could sit in this haze and sulk, or I could get up embrace my new team (who I freaking love) and bring His light to this dark place.
Writing this now, the whole situation seems foolish. I still don’t like change but I am learning to adapt. God throws curveballs at us all the time, in order that we can grow in our walks with Him. We need to quit thinking we know what is best for ourselves, rather than God, who KNOWS what is best.
So all that being said I am proud to introduce you to my amazing new team Sons and Daughters:
Travis Bonning
Hayden Furlow
LaShondra Riddle
Micah Thomas
Stephanie Bittick
Shari Scott
Bryan Reski
