I have always been a person who likes to see results, to know that what I’m working for is worth the effort. I can always try to persevere, but the process is much easier if I see progress. As you may have discerned in the few blogs I have posted, the World Race and, more broadly, the Christian life, is not about what is easy.
I’ve struggled at times since arriving in India. I want to know that my decision to leave my home, my loved ones, and the life I had created for myself was doing someone some good. I’ve realized, however, that is a selfish and short-sighted approach to ministry. God is writing a grand story throughout human history. My part in it may be small, but just because I don’t see the fruit, does not mean it is insignificant.
There have been days of ministry when I leave feeling like I didn’t do much or that the people here didn’t need me to come all the way from America to do what I did that day. But I sense God challenging me to trust Him when I don’t see the impact that my presence here may have. He is working in my life to accomplish his will, and if he brought me here, there is a reason. I don’t have to see what it is or understand all the implications. My job is to trust and obey.
One day we may be moving piles of dirt as part of construction project for a new church and have to consider the people who will one day sit in that church and hear a message that will change the course of their lives. Another day, all we may do is attend the chapel service at the seminary down the road with the local students and hope that our presence somehow encourages them to keep pursuing God and what He has for them. There have even been days when all ministry has been canceled either because of a strike in town or too much rain. On those days, we may have different opportunities for ministry, but many times we have just had to learn to rest. In those moments, I hope that the time I spend with my Father allows Him to work in my heart to prepare me to better minister to people I will meet in the future.
This year, each day, is a gift. I want to make the most of this time, and I think God wants that for me, too. But He has been teaching me that my idea of what “making the most of it” looks like and His idea of that aren’t always the same. The months before I left for home were filled with preparations, and when I departed, I didn’t necessarily feel like I had devoted enough time to be adequately prepared for what was to come. Even these moments of rest and time with God are opportunities for Him to fill me up so that when I again go out into the community, I will have something more than myself to offer.
So as I sit in my room and write this blog, I am choosing to live by faith. I’m convicted of my desire for instant gratification. Jesus often likened the kingdom of God to seeds. When you plant seeds, you don’t see the growth that is happening beneath the surface, but later on, it sprouts. And if it is in a good environment, it can grow to be a strong tree that outlasts the lives of the those who planted it for generations. I love feeling like I actually made a difference, but I don’t have to see the change. I can be satisfied knowing that I was faithful with what was asked of me and trusting that the seeds I sow in India and the rest of the countries we visit, will one day, in time, bear fruit.
