I’ve been in India for less than a week. Even though I can’t say that I totally understand what life is like here or claim any deep cultural insights, I have realized a couple things. One of those is that ministry is not about being comfortable. It is about letting go of yourself because you recognize that God wants to do something bigger in and through your life to love and serve others. And letting go of yourself is hard.
My home for this month is an unfinished dormitory. My sleeping pad and sleeping bag are the only things between me and the cement floor. I’m showering out of a bucket. If I wanted to be comfortable, I would have stayed in Oklahoma where I had a big comfy bed and easy access to clean running water. But I didn’t come here to be comfortable. I came because I felt like there was something more to life, something that I was missing out on. I felt like God meant for my life to mean more than earning the next paycheck and trying to get ahead in the rat race. Call me crazy, but I think he intends that for all of us.
The problem is that finding out what that looks like means leaving all of that behind. I know some people think that this is just some big adventure, and yes, there are times when I like to compare myself to Bilbo or Frodo. But the truth is that leaving the Shire is scary. It’s terrifying to let go of a comfortable life for the unknown, but only when you’re willing to step into the unknown can you actually operate in faith. As long as you know what to expect, you don’t really have to depend on God. I think this is why many of us settle for less than what God has for us. We are afraid to leave the comfortable lives we have carved out for ourselves.
Please hear my heart in this. I don’t say that to condemn anyone for having a nice cozy bed. I would welcome that right now. And honestly, I never thought of myself as someone who could defy cultural expectations like this, leave behind my family and friends, my work, my comfortable life, and plunge head first into a world of uncertainty. Ever since I was little I had a plan for my life, and the World Race was never part of it. It went something like this: Work hard in school so you can get into a good college so you can get a good job so you can make a decent living and be happy. Did you notice that “leave the country to live out of a backpack and travel to remote parts of the world to share the love of God with people for eleven months” wasn’t on the list? Yeah, I did too. But I’ve come to realize that my plans rarely work out, and many times that’s for the best.
It’s only been a few days, but I’ve been uncomfortable many times already. It’s uncomfortable trying to bridge a language barrier and pray for people who worship a statue. It’s not easy digging in the dirt to level the ground for the foundation of a church. But I want my life to be about more than what’s easy or convenient. I want it to matter, and I think that means making it about something bigger than my own desires. Yes, it’s scary, but I have no doubt that it will be worth it. You don’t have to quit your job and travel halfway around the world. Just find someone next to you who may be having a rough day and find a way to love them. It may be uncomfortable at first, but I think that might be a good sign that you’re doing something right.
