Last week team Soturi split up and participated in two different ministries for the week. Malorie, Hannah and I were placed at Niki’s Place Agape Home while the others were In Mae Chaem.
The first day at Agape we were assigned the task of mowing the lawn. Being a city dweller and having parents who did all the yard work I was enthused to seize the opportunity and learn practical skills 😉 ……and yes I had many the opportunity to give Mom and Dad a hand.
It had been raining a couple nights previous so the grass was wet and heavey. I was given a hunky, red lawn mower and the task with mowing the right hand section of the lawn. I reckon it was nearly thirty metres long and ten metres wide. I was ready to seize this opportunity to be outside, doing yard work and physical labour.
I started pulling the draw string and it wasn’t starting. As some of us know it takes a good pull to get the engine going. Time after time I was trying to pull the string. It just wasn’t starting. Instead of asking the men for a hand I shamefully looked for my fellow female team mate. I couldn’t get her attention to come over so I went with a second bout of determination to the mower and pulled hard on the string. And voila it started.
First thing learned:
Don’t doubt my capabilities
I set off with the encouraging fact that I just started a mower all by myself. I went up and down the strip of grass. I was happy, having fun and proud. After some time the mower suddenly stopped. It ran out of gas and the entire bottom of the mower was clogged with grass.
What do I do?
One of the Thai maintenance man had seen me and came over to give me a hand. He helped fill up the gas and clean the bottom of the machine.
He also told me that I hadn’t mowed the grass straight and that there were a few patches where the grass was still tall.
Wait…..what?!
I was happy. I was content. I was pleased with what I had accomplished. I was unaware that I was mowing in zigzags and that there were wisps of longer grass throughout.
I stewed for quite some time after his feedback. I was bothered by my lack of awareness and discouraged by my beginner mowing skills. For almost an hour I was hard on myself thinking that I was taking too long on my section and that it didn’t even look good. I started to believe I was doing a poor job and lacked confidence in my abilities to try new things.
Second thing learned:
Don’t take things too personally
I was encouraged by my leader Hannah this past month in Thailand to change my thought life into my prayer life. This mowing experience for me captures my friends reccomendation. I have the tendency to over think things. And sometimes when my mind is like a hurricane I become anxious and start to self doubt.
As I try to replace thoughts for prayers I am confronted with difficulty. It’s hard. It’s challenging. But the reward is worth it. It’s called peace 😀
My prayer is that I am content despite what others think. I am content if I receive feedback about my work that may be different from what I view. When I am comfronted with a challenge I want to boldly ask others for help. I pray that I am content with the pace at which I do things. I am reassured with whom I am doing the work for. And that I love myself just as Christ loves me.
Many Blessings,
Clare
