Throughout my life I’ve always been the odd one out. In middle school I was bullied by girls who I considered to be my friends because I wasn’t pretty enough, I didn’t say the right things, or because I wouldn’t do what they wanted to me to do. I resented God throughout middle school because I was only ever nice to people, yet I spent every weekend alone. I found comfort during the summers when I would go on mission trips with a group of girls from my church. I didn’t feel left out, or that I wasn’t good enough in God’s eyes.
Eventually I got to high school and I didn’t have a solid group because I didn’t fit in anywhere. I didn’t feel that I fit the criteria of the groups, and I was just to scared to be myself and see what would happen.
Sophmore year I had a decent group of friends but all they did was fight and cause drama and I just thought it was so petty. One night after being so fed up with everything I looked up summer missionary opportunities because I remembered the joy that missionary work brought me. I came across the World Race and I knew it was God’s call for me. At this point I still didn’t have a large faith, and I began to realize the people I was around weren’t supporting me.
Junior year I thought I had it all figured out. I had a great friend group, a wonderful family, and great plans for the World Race. Then summer came along.
I was going to be a camp councilor for five weeks of the summer, visit friends in Iowa for a week, go camping with my family for a week, and work for a month at a Young Life Camp; Crooked Creek.
My summer was going as planned, until I got to Crooked Creek. I was a Tawashi which meant I was going to clean bathrooms 7 hours a day for a month! The first week all I wanted to do was cry and go home, but on the first thursday we had a work crew and summer staff worship service. I sat there singing, and when we started singing the song “How He Loves Us” I burst into tears. The rest of the time I was able to find joy in everything and truly lean on God for strength. The people I met there taught me what true friendship was, and I became closer with them than any of my friends at home.
During that song I had finally realized that God had forgiven me for any of my past mistakes, and that no matter how unaccepted, or unworthy I felt to society he loved me unconditionally and had great plans for me.
I got back from this trip to my old group of friends and I realized that they weren’t the positive people I had grown to love. Yet again I felt unaccepted and back to being the odd one out. I went into my senior year with no friend group, but unlike what I expected I only felt joy. God had renewed my soul and I was able to find a silver lining in everything. Those people who had stopped hanging out with me had never accepted the faith I had or the journey I wanted to pursue. I was able to begin hanging out with a few people who fully supported me in every way, and that was a true gift from God.
When October swung around I was finally able to sign up for the World Race, and when I was accepted I thought I was going to explode with joy. After two years of high school drama, dramatic changes in faith, and most of all waiting everything was coming together.
I can not wait to begin this new journey with the Lord and my team. This journey will be very testing. Nine months without my family and friends will be tough, but I know the Lord will be with me at my lowest lows and highest highs as he has proven throughout my life. God has called me to be his hands and feet, and I plan to do just that.
Jeremiah 29:11
~For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
