Every evening before we climb into bed, we all come together for team time. We each take turns leading. Sometimes it’s a Bible study. Sometimes we play cards. Sometimes we watch and discuss a sermon. And sometimes we just spend time together, laughing, and talking about where we saw the Lord that day. A few weeks ago, Lizete picked a question out of our lovely little World Race journal for us to ponder. She read the question and then created space for us to seek the Lord and listen to Him.
So as we sat on Mega-Couch, I asked the Lord “What do you want me to leave behind and abandon in Bulgaria?”
To be honest, I didn’t want to think about this question, much less ask the Lord for his opinion. But more than I want to feel comfortable and safe, I want to know the Father more deeply and intimately. As I sat there, I heard Him whisper, “Be here. Leave home behind.”
You see, month one has been wonderful and beautiful and I’ve fallen in love with this place and these people. But month one has also been hard and stretching and painful. Community is a beautiful gift and it was one of the many things I was excited to dive into on the Race. But I’m also coming out of a season of incredible community with another group of people that I care for very much. Home is so much more than the place where I grew up for the first 18 years of my life. Home has become my safety net. Home is my community of friends who became family. These are the people that know me better than I know myself and love the ugly parts of me, even when I don’t.
For the first three weeks of the Race, I found myself daydreaming and wishing to be with those people, to be somewhere I was fully known. Building relationships that turn into community like I have at home is hard work and I was tired of putting in the effort.
I’m thankful that Jesus is the Good Shepard because sometimes as sheep, we get scattered. But in his infinite grace and mercy, he comes to find us and carry us back.
“If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountain and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray.” Matthew 18:12-13
So sitting on Mega-Couch, Jesus gently reminded me that he perfectly orchestrated a plan for me to be in Bulgaria on this team with these girls. “These are the people I’ve given you for this season. Love them. Invest in them. Let them be your people.”
So I’ve decided that when I pack my bag to leave tomorrow, I’m leaving my desire to be somewhere else in Bulgaria and I’m stepping into a season of being present with the people that have been chosen for me.
