It’s been over a year since I said yes to the World Race. There are days recently when I’ve really reflected on why I said yes in the beginning. I think about my thoughts about what this year would look like, and of course, without wanting them, my expectations. What was I really expecting? I have had so many opportunities recently to talk to friends from back home and they are asking me to tell them my takeaways so far, the things that have affected me the most. What a hard question to answer. When I first started the race as a team leader, I honestly had no idea what I was doing. Sure, I had experience with leadership, but it was never like this. The Lord revealed so much to me even that first month. The first month was filled with love. I loved our hosts and got to love on my team and pour into them. I was able to spend every day with the Lord just letting Him love me and begin to learn what that even looks like on a day to day basis. I left the DR behind feeling so encouraged and really learning the kind of leader that the Lord was creating me to be. I was taking all of my notes from Him and throwing the rest out the window.
Month 2 began, and if any of you have been reading previous blogs, you know we went through some rough times. I stood in the streets in Carrefour, Haiti and shouted out to the Lord with all of my heart out of anger, confusion, and frustration. I hit a low point that month. I had no idea how to hear from God with so much darkness surrounding me, but God began to show me the light, not only show it to me, but tell me that I was bringing that light. He told me, ok I have spent a month loving on you, now comes the real test; will you still love me through the storm? Through the trials and challenges my heart was longing for the Lord in a way that it never had before. Jesus was romancing me, pursuing me, calling me to Him with such a force that I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I surrendered to Him as we worshipped on the rooftop with all the teams. My heart sang out to the Lord as I danced with Him. The true love story began.
When we reached Thailand, after 5 days of travel, I was tired. I loved our ministry, but as you read in the last blog, it had its challenges. I guess I had MY challenges, but at the end of the month I got an incredible blessing of being able to lead someone to accept the Lord. God used me as an instrument to do His work even when I didn’t realize it. The whole month I had just been myself, for the first time in my life, sharing my story, and people saw a light in me that my Daddy put there. When I think about the month in my head I see Chiang Mai and instead of us walking around, I see little fireflies making their way through the streets, in the café, flying slowly and so peacefully bringing an abundance of light everywhere they go. Fireflies are mesmerizing; you can’t help but watch them or want to catch them. The Lord kept guiding us, showing us where to bring more light whether it was on a college campus, in the café, or just on the streets of Chiang Mai.
At the end of month 3, the two amazing women that have been leading our squad asked me to step up with 2 other people and lead the squad beginning month 4. Squad leaders have a different ministry than racers do, our ministry is to love and serve the squad that loves on the ministries. This of course is totally different than I imagined the race to be. There is no way I could expect this, but the idea was in the back of my mind throughout the whole month of Haiti. The Lord was telling me so many things about the leader He was calling me to be, and about the mission that He was placing on my heart. At first I didn’t want to listen. I didn’t want to have any expectations. It took me a whole month to realize that these were His expectations for me, not my own for my life. He has called me to be more than I could imagine myself to be, but He continues to build up confidence in who I am in Him so that I can serve our squad and the ministries that we serve in a completely new way. I continue to learn how to die to myself every day, to seek rest in Him when I need it, and to truly battle for the men and women that we have been called to lead. This is a new season. I am excited and I ask for your prayer that we would continue to look to the Lord as our example and listen to the Spirit to where He calls. When I told my parents about squad leading and the change in my ministry, my dad told me about a passage that he knew in Romans.
“How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news!’ But not all the Israelites accepted the good news. For Isaiah says, ‘Lord, who has believed our message?’ Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. But I ask: Did they not hear? Of course they did: ‘Their voice has gone out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.’” Romans 10:14-18
We have been sent by our Father to share the message, to preach the good news, to love on the lost. Taking on this new role on the squad doesn’t change the mission that has been set on my heart. No, I won’t be directly involved with the ministries, but there is nothing more powerful than the power of prayer. We will be covering each team and ministry in prayer, and pouring into each team so that they can pour into the ministries they serve. I hope that makes sense…I guess I’m still processing through things myself, but I have confidence in the Lord and He has given me confidence in myself that this is what I am called to do and how I am called to serve for the rest of this year…7 and a half more months.
