I have been trying to write this blog for a little over a month. I usually won't go back after we've left the country but I can't get this blog out of my mind, especially now. A little over a month ago I was sitting in one of the nicest churches I've been in on the race in Swaziland and heard a familiar verse being read by the pastor, Galatians 2:20. As some of you know this is the first verse I ever memorized and one of the verses that has really defined my walk with the Lord. "I have been crucified with Christ it is no longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loves me and gave himself for me." When I first read this verse, I think I finally understood what my life was going to be like becoming a daughter of the utmost King. I was no longer the same girl that I was before. I was broken, I had to die to myself and surrendered my life and I was terrified. My identity had changed but I didn't know how to blend my new self with the old, and you know what I learned along the way? You can't blend. The pastor in Swaziland began to ask us a series of questions to help us figure out if we were really satisfied and content with where the Lord had us. I mean what does it really mean to live a crucified life? Why can't we blend the old life with the new? Well this is what I've come to discover on my journey that began really when I was 19 up until this point. Once you accept Christ, you change. Your identity is no longer based on the world's standards or views, you are literally made new. It's like some radar is put inside of you that whenever you start to drift to your old self a siren goes off that quickly convicts you and you stop and say, wait a minute, this isn't me. We do not live in our sin, we do not live in the world any longer. We are set apart. We are made to stand out and be looked at like something is different, because there is something different, the Holy Spirit inside of us. The Lord calls us to live in this way. I was recently going through 1 Corinthians and came upon this passage in chapter one. "Brothers and sisters, THINK OF WHAT YOU WERE WHEN YOU WERE CALLED. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many of you were born of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of this world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and despised things–and the things that are not–to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God–that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord'". I mean let those words sink in for a bit. EVERYTHING we are is because of the greatest love we will ever know, because of the one who saved us with amazing grace and gave His life so that we can live. We have freedom from bondage and lines of communication open with our God because of everything He has done for us. I think about who I was when I was called. I was prideful, stubborn, selfish, materialistic, and so lost. I made people's words an idol in my life to take control of me and change my thoughts and my view of myself. I didn't know how to listen to God or didn't really want to. I didn't know the difference between the lies and the truth. And yet, I was called. I was called to walk through the wilderness discovering more about myself and my God. I spent years trying to find the balance of my life, trying to figure out how to live in this new way, trying to find the truth in my own life and learn to tune my ear to the Lord's voice only. This only came with giving my whole life. I knew I couldn't give a piece of it, I couldn't pick and choose, it was all or nothing. God doesn't say it's going to be easy, but as we go through the trials and walk through the desert, we see the reward, we have cause to rejoice, we have the love of a Father that will never abandon. When I think about Galatians now I think about the day that I gave my life to Christ and the place I was at, Deer Creek Camp. I found myself at that camp for 6 years, 3 of which living there. For the first time in 6 years I won't be joining the staff for another great summer. I will miss the campers that I have watched grow up and the always changing staff whose lives are changed in a matter of weeks because of those campers. I found out that this year the theme verse is Galatians 2:20. In a way I feel like I will still be there because a piece of my heart will always be there. So this verse has come up over and over again recently and I felt like God was telling me to write a blog about the importance of it in my life. You know when He starts talking about something multiple times, you can't really ignore it, you just have to trust it. So, that being said, not sure what is going to come of this blog, but I knew I needed to share it. So enjoy!
