We decided to take a few days of rest after the craziness of debrief. It’s always good for us to just sit before the Father and let Him fill us back up after being so drained of everything for 5 days. We are staying at a hostel tucked away in the city of Lilongwe. It’s so serene here. I felt so at peace the minute we walked through the gate. There are giant trees, beautiful flowers, and yes, even a pool. I feel so spoiled. I am able to drink tea every morning as we start off the day reading Jesus Calling then studying Philippians together. I have more mosquito bites than I’ve had in my entire life, but hey there are hot showers so there is no complaining.
I am no stranger to staying at hostels. Besides those that we’ve stayed in during the race, I had some pretty interesting experiences while I was studying abroad the summer before I graduated from A&M. The thing I love most about hostels are the people you come in contact with there, whether the owners or the guests there are some intriguing characters if you choose not to miss them.
We had a Spirit-led encounter with one the other night that reminded me more and more of who I am in Christ and the gifts that He has blessed me with. Her name is Carina. She calls Germany her home and has been traveling since August. She has been all over and has spent significant time in Africa. She travels alone, a single woman traveling alone in Africa. I’m pretty sure my mother would kill me if I did this or just have the National Guard on speed dial. I was over hearing her conversation with one of the other squad leaders, Becky, and I realized that Becky was sharing her testimony with this woman that just started learning English 3 months ago. I just kept one ear on the conversation and was thinking, I don’t know what’s going on there but yeah preach it girl! After Becky was done cooking, the four of us squad leaders sat down to eat dinner. I wasn’t really thinking too much about the woman in the kitchen, but when we saw her again after dinner I began to wonder if there was more to be done. Becky told us that she was not a believer, but had felt God near her recently and didn’t know what to do about it. It is a rare thing to meet someone that can so clearly feel the Lord next to them, yet isn’t ready to accept Him. Most of us on the squad only pray that we could feel the presence of the Lord the way Carina does.
I don’t even know how I entered the conversation, I just found myself speaking to her. I was quoting scripture and speaking truth to her with so much passion in my voice that in my head all I could think was, “this isn’t me”. As I was looking into the blue eyes of Carina that were so full of life and light my vision began to narrow. It wasn’t like I was going to pass out or anything it was almost like I was removed from my body. There was a bright light forming a ring around my vision so that all I could see was Carina. I started speaking in such a way that I couldn’t physically control it. I felt a huge smile on my face and could only assume it was because I was speaking words that were glorifying my Father. I have never felt so sure that I was being used as a vessel before this moment. When I was done talking, Carina could only just stare at me and the question she asked me next caught me off guard. She just quietly said, “Have you ever looked in the mirror when you talk to someone that way, because you should.” I really had no words at this point. I mean who looks in the mirror when they are preaching truth.
I have had it spoken over me so much lately that I have the gift of discernment, but I guess it’s hard for me to accept that the Lord would bless me with such a powerful gift. As I was just standing near Carina, it was like I knew every word to speak to her and as we prayed over her I knew how much she needed healing in her life from her past. I began to pray that she would know the love of her Bridegroom just as she is and that she was worthy to receive Him no matter what was in her past. She looked at me again after we prayed and opened up to us about her past and shared with us her story. She told us that we would never know how right our words were.
There was so much hope and joy in my heart as we said goodnight and goodbye to Carina. She welcomed us to stay with her anytime we were in Germany and thanked us for our words and our continued prayers for her. I know that the Lord has great plans for this woman. To see the way that He has transformed her life and led her to the place that she is now is truly amazing. I feel blessed to have gotten to be a part of such an amazing story that I know is just beginning. God uses us all if we are willing to be used as His vessel. We are merely His tools that He uses to shape and form the hearts that He desires to be His. How humbling it is to be used by the Father in such a way. It was spoken lately to us by our current host, “God doesn’t need you, but He chooses to use you.” How right He is. He doesn’t need us, but what a blessing it is to know that He does use us even when we feel so ill-equipped and unworthy. He lights a fire within us that cannot be ignored or put out. Oh how blessed I feel to have been used in this way and can’t wait to see what more the Lord has in the next 4 months. I will no longer shy away when I feel the words coming to my mouth, I will open and speak and let truth be poured out. Thank you Daddy for the gifts you bless us with!
