(To the four people who read this post on Monday, February 12th- I posted it on accident before it was done. It is done now, sorry for the confusion!!)
Let me post a scenario: You’re sleeping soundly in your bed when an alarm goes off. You snooze your alarm, only to be disturbed a few minutes later. After a couple rounds of fighting your alarm you finally turn it off, grab your phone, and begin skimming through the latest developments on social media. During this time you may get out of bed and even begin to prepare for your day, but not without constantly responding to direct messages, tweets, and snaps. You might take a shower as you listen to your favorite playlist or turn on the news as you eat breakfast. Soon enough you make it to your car and immediately turn on the radio. Once you make it to work or school, you spend your day accomplishing a variety of tasks and activities. There is no in-between: you’re either constantly working or continuing to substitute your time with apps and electric socialization.
After a long day you finally drive home once again, jamming out to music or listening to an audio book. You make it home, flop on the couch, and begin to watch some Netflix. You may watch something else too, but not without constantly combing through any and every social media on your phone. At some point you’ll probably talk to your friends or family in real life, but not very much. You might eat some dinner or catch up on some work or take a shower, but eventually you make it to your bed. Here you spend some time distracted with a book or your phone until you finally go to sleep. Then you awake to do it all again.
How much of this paragraph described your day? Are you constantly spending your day distracting yourself? Friends, I am not here to tell you that technology is evil, to get off the grid, or to condemn your actions. But consider this:
Do you ever sit in silence?
No I’m not talking about when you were sleeping or quietly scrolling through Facebook. I mean hard-core, not a sound, focused silence. Life is busy friends, there’s no beating the bush around that. Honestly I would be shocked if more than a few of you took time to turn off your brain and tune out all surroundings. Silence isn’t usually welcomed in modern American society.
In fact, I would argue that our society fears what silence can bring.
When I look back at the person I was in middle school, I would describe myself as depressed, angry, and awkward. I didn’t have a lot of friends and I didn’t really want to talk to people, so I would do a lot of activities by myself. I would read, write, listen to music, and play video games. Every time I was alone, I had to be distracted by something. At the time I thought I was just keeping busy, but I later learned that my actions were pointing to something much bigger.
As I was going through middle school, my parents were going through a divorce. It was a really stressful time filled with heartache and mistrust, and I didn’t know how to handle it. So, instead of handling my grief in a healthy way, I would bottle it up and shoot it at anyone I could, especially at my father. For months we would argue and yell every time we saw each other, each unable to diffuse or handle our situation.
Silence finally caught up with me in the summer of 2013. After I stopped living with my dad, I lost my main sparring partner. Without my dad around, there was no one to yell at anymore. My mom was constantly working and my sister was completely closed off, so I was alone. I had no summer activities, I didn’t have anything to look forward to, and so I began to turn on myself through self harm. Once self-harm entered the picture, silence became my enemy, one that I wouldn’t make amends with for years.
The idea of opening up yourself to silence can be terrifying. Any thoughts or memories can pop up, and the ones that come can bring you to a place that you don’t want to think about. You may remember your worst mistakes, your deepest hurts, or your biggest regrets. Silence can be the gate by which you relive every terrible moment of your life. However, silence is also the only gate to true healing.
By taking a piece of your day to sit alone in silence, you allow yourself to reflect and logically see your situations. It will hurt, but true healing comes from thinking and learning from previous experiences. For instance, after I began to reflect on my fights with my dad, I realized that I was using him as a verbal punching bag to handle my frustration with the divorce. After watching my parents fight, I picked up their methods and began to use them against my dad, to which he in turn fought me back. I didn’t want to think about fighting with my dad, but I did it anyways. From this one example I have learned the value of diplomacy, how to handle my frustrations in a healthy manner, and that I don’t need to live an angry life. When I sat in silence and listened to the Holy Spirit’s wisdom, I gained insight that helped me to move past the past.
Prayer is one of the most important aspects of a Christian’s life, and a period of silence is a great way to listen to God. Life is busy, but if the church never takes time to connect with the Holy Spirit and hear God’s voice, than the church might as well disband. We NEED God, and we need his presence every day. Use your silence through a means to connect with God, whether its praying for what you need or thanking God for what you have.
Some people aren’t ready to sit in silence, and that’s okay. We’re all in a different place, both spiritually and mentally. You may not be ready to heal. Someday you will come across a time where you find yourself in silence, or you find that no activity can distract you from any troubles in your life. The truth is, life isn’t meant to be lived in constant distractions. It requires times of reflection and thought. When you come to that point, start small. Take ten minutes out of your day, or turn off the radio when you drive. Any amount spent in silence that points back to God can change any day into a day filled with love and grace.
Silence is scary, but it rewards far more than it takes.
~CLS
