I was face timing a friend at home about a month into the Race. She said, “Yea going to college is hard, but I can only imagine what you’re going through.” At the time I disagreed, saying, “No, everything is a new adventure here. Its really not so bad.”
And then I went to Kampot.
This will be my last blog in Cambodia. Right now my squad is in Siem Reap preparing to fly out of Asia and into Africa. One third of the Race is already over, three months already gone.
I lived in Battambang for my first month and Kampot for months two and three. While I made some good connections in Battambang, they pale in comparison to the ones I had in Kampot. My team was taken care of by a lot of people. We had three men- So Phea, Kim, and Su Met- who lived with us at the house. They translated and helped us teach English to the local kids. So Phea used to be a chef and sometimes cooked us delicious meals just because he could. Then we had our drivers Poen and Lucky who drove us to Kampot to get wifi on the weekends. Our ministry hosts were a man named Vuthy and his wife Srey Nech, and they attended to our every need- whether it was driving us to the market for breakfast, healing our sick, or just being Jesus. Vuthy’s dad also drove and helped us with construction, Vuthy’s mom and sister helped cook our meals, and Vuthy’s nieces and nephews were just a few of the students in my class. They gave me more joy that I could’ve asked for.
One of the most important lessons I learned in Kampot was that I spiritually block myself from getting attached to people. Most people say “I miss you” because they miss the presence of that person, but not me. I never allowed myself to get too attached and I always knew that eventually people would leave. A lot of people have walked in and out of my life without a second glance, and so I began to cope by keeping people at a distance.
Why does this matter? Because the only thing I want right now is to go home. No I’m not talking about my house, Lindström, or even America. I want to go home to my Father in heaven, because saying goodbye to Kampot was one of the saddest moments of my life. Saying goodbye to the people back home was hard, but (God willing) I know I’ll go home again. There is a good chance I will never see my family in Cambodia ever again. Vuthy and So Phea were like my brothers, Srey Nech was my sister, my students were like my nieces and nephews, Vuthy’s mom and dad were like my grandparents. As I sobbed hugging Vuthy goodbye, I realized something: This was my home, and now its gone.
When I die I will spend an eternity in paradise with God and my brothers and sisters in Christ. I will never have to say goodbye or see you later again, because they’ll all be there. All my church family in the states, Cambodia, and the ones yet to come will be there with me in heaven.
But then I think about all the unbelievers, the people who don’t know Jesus. I remember my schoolmates and relatives, all the people I left in America. I remember my fellow teachers in Battambang and my community in Kampot and all those Buddhist children I taught English. They don’t all know Jesus. If they died right now, I would never see them again. Ever. They would be gone for the rest of eternity. And then I remember all the missed conversations, all the times I thought ministry was a location and not a way of life. I remember all the times I didn’t show Jesus and acted out in the flesh, the times I chose comfort over sharing the good news.
My friends, time is short. One day? Gone in a flash. Weeks? Thrown out with yesterday’s rice. Three months? The blink of an eye. I knew I had three months in Cambodia, and while I did a lot of service for the Lord, I know I could have done more. I could have given more but I never understood how little time I had until it was gone. I could have given more when I was in America, but I never thought that time would end (even for a short while). I could have done more in high school, but I didn’t and now I’ll never be a high school student again. Guys, TIME IS SHORT!! Ministry isn’t for missionaries, its life. We as the church must live every day in ministry- life really is heaven and hell. If you aren’t showing and sharing Jesus, doing His will and giving Him the credit, loving thy neighbor as Jesus even when they don’t love you back, then what the heck are you doing? Your life isn’t your own, it belongs to Jesus. He bought you with a price, and his last commandment was for us to go and make disciples to all nations. Thats the last thing He said before rising up into the clouds, so if we aren’t doing that, then what are we doing?
I write this blog as a call to arms for both you and me. This isn’t me saying, “You aren’t doing enough”, but “We aren’t doing enough”. People don’t earn grace because its freely given, but we are called to freely give grace away. We need to understand the importance of salvation and the finite nature of time. Time ends, and when that time is up we will all give an account for what we did and did not do on this Earth. I want to go up to heaven and be with my family in Christ, but I need to stay down here because God isn’t done using me for the kingdom yet. There are a lot more people I want to bring up to heaven with me, and I can’t point people to Jesus if I’m dead. All the people up in heaven know Jesus, so once I die I will never share the message of salvation again.
I’m excited for the day I see Vuthy and his family again, but now I have to go bring more people to the family of God. Someday I will present an offering to the Lord that stands for all I did for the kingdom on Earth. I don’t want to stand before the throne of God and say “I accepted salvation, but I didn’t really feel like sharing Jesus with anyone so I spent my time on earth working a 9-5 job, raising a family, and growing old. I just never felt called or ready to share the good news so I didn’t.” My friends, we were ALL called 2000 years ago by a man named Jesus. We are here to spread the message of the gospel and bring salvation to a dying world. If judgement day was today, what would you offer God? Would you offer a harvest of fruitful labor, or a pitiful excuse of misunderstand salvation?
Time is finite, but life after death lasts forever. Go out and do what Jesus told you to do.
My squad has heard rumors that Ethiopia will have little or no wifi. Maybe I’ll post a blog next week, maybe in a few weeks, or maybe in three months. Maybe Jesus will return before then, who really knows? Either way, thank you for reading this blog and for all your support. If you feel led to donate to my trip then feel free to click the link above. If you want to learn more about my teammates and what they’re doing you can find their blogs on the left side of this web page. Anyways, thanks again for all your prayers and love. See you in heaven, if not before.
~CLS
