I used to think I couldn’t hear God, but now I know He speaks clearly.
When I was sixteen the Lord told me what to do after high school. It was the beginning of my junior year and lots of people were asking me questions I didn’t know the answer to. I asked for an answer, a sign for what to do. An idea popped in my head and peace flooded over me. The Lord said the answer as clear as the sun in a blue sky. I was going to go to University of Northwestern- St. Paul to pursue my BA in English education with a minor in Writing.
Yea, just like that. I accepted that answer with tears rolling down my face. Finally I had a plan, finally I had an answer! It was so relieving to have a future, especially since many of my peers already knew what they were going to do. The problem was, God gave me such a straightforward answer that it wasn’t long before I doubted what I had heard. I began to wonder if God really spoke to me or if I was just telling myself what I wanted to hear. At the time I wanted to go to UNWSP and become an English teacher and write. It seemed too simple, too perfect. Then, my interests became divided, fear took over my perspective, and I no longer knew what to do with my life.
I think thats why God didn’t tell me to go on a gap year until my senior year- He probably figured that I’d talk myself out of that too. When I was searching for freedom and something more than school, God sent me across the world to encounter the things I read in the Bible firsthand. I’ve prayed into miracles, my squamates have cast our demons, and I know many people that speak in tongues. However, the further I got from home, the more I realized how clearly I can hear the Lord’s voice- even in the most random things. Some say I walk in the gift of prophecy, but all I know is that I talk to God and He talks back. He tells me things about people that I wouldn’t know any other way but through Him, and I’ve seen Him answer my impossible prayers.
I came to Ethiopia thinking that I didn’t know what to do with my life next year. There were moments where I cried as I begged God to show me what to do because I felt so lost. Then, one day He took me back to a church balcony when I was sixteen. I remembered those words in my head and the peace over my heart. I remember the tears and how thankful I was to hear God. As I remember this moment, I could almost feel Jesus raising His eyebrow at me, as though He was saying “Are you SURE you don’t know?”
Maybe God and I talk differently than the rest of you. Maybe I walk in prophecy or prayer or something spiritual like that. Maybe I’m special, but I don’t think I am (at least in that way). I think we all hear the voice of God in one way or another, and I think that He makes some things very clear to us. I initially rejected what God gave me because I thought it was too easy, but now I know that He was trying to teach me how to hear His voice.
A few weeks later I received another clear word from God- After getting home from the race, I’ll have about a week at home before going up to work at Rock Ridge for the summer. It was another simple answer, no metaphors or strings attached. I’ve already worked at this camp before, and now God was calling me back- just as I get off being away from home for nine months. And you know what? I couldn’t be more excited!
In short, I know where God is calling me to go. Sometimes God doesn’t speak so clearly, but that usually happens when I start to complicate what He’s doing. This summer I’ll be working at a Godly summer camp, and this fall I’ll start pursuing a degree to become an English teacher. I don’t know why God called me to these things or what trials they’ll bring or who I’ll meet along the way, but I know one things for certain- God speaks.
Sometimes we need to just take what we think God says, lift it up in prayer, and then just run with it. We have to trust that God will steer us where we need to go if we get off course, and we have to rest knowing that God always works for our good. Take the time to talk with (not to) God. Pray the impossible prayers and listen close, because Jesus doesn’t leave His people on read.
~CLS
(PS: if you want prayer or have any questions, please send me a message via Messenger, iMessage, or Instagram. You can find links to that in the contact page on my blog. I’d love to hear from you <3 GBYKYS)
