When I was getting ready and packing for the Race, I was debating about whether or not I should bring my guitar or not. It seemed like a hassle to travel with, but the thought of going 9 months without playing the instrument that I love was unimaginable, so I ended up bringing it along. At the time I never anticipated how God would use my guitar and my love for worship as such a ministry opportunity here.
On the final day of launch, my squad mentor Lizi approached me and asked if I would be willing to be the worship coordinator for our squad of 37 people. I was thrilled, but I was also unsure of what this position entailed and why they chose me. In my mind I could come up with several other people who were more qualified for the job and began to feel insecure in my abilities. I thought about how little experience I had leading worship, how others were maybe more talented than me at playing the guitar, and how uncomfortable I feel singing in front of other people. Despite these feelings of inadequacy, I said “yes” to Lizi and to the Lord, asking Him to embolden me and use my gifts for His glory.
On one of our first days in Guatemala, I got the chance to lead all-squad worship for the first time. At first I was nervous, but as we began to worship, God took away all of my feelings of inadequacy and replaced it with His peace as we all stood praising Him together on the front lawn.
A few days later I was reading through 2 Timothy 1 and verses 8-9 caught my eye.
“Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
I was reminded of Lizi’s words from the previous day: “Insecurities are just fears that we have justified. The things that we are insecure about are most likely the things that we have an anointing in.” I realised that if I am insecure about music or singing, that may be because God has anointed me to do it and Satan is attacking me and making me feel insecure. Upon this realisation, I asked God to empower and embolden me to use the gifts of music that He has given me to better worship and serve Him.
It’s no big surprise that God has already been faithful in this and given me numerous opportunities to use my gifting in music to evangelise. On one day I joined another team and we went into the main park in Antigua and had a worship “concert” to try to get donations for our hosts’ fundraiser. We sang, I got the chance to play guitar for awhile, we played with kids and prayed for people.
Later that night my one of my teammates made a comment about how comfortable and happy I looked while playing and singing that day. And it was so true! The nervousness that I had felt while leading worship for my squad was nonexistent and I felt completely at ease. It was such an awesome experience!
Another fun story: I played guitar in a Guatemalan wedding! I didn’t even know the couple, but the wedding was in our front yard so we were all invited to go. I was asked to accompany one of the staff as she sang during the ceremony, and I was like “Sure! Why not?” I’m pretty much an official wedding performer now 🙂
We’ve now been here at the YWAM Guatemala base for about 2 weeks, and God is continuing to open doors for me to use my talents to serve Him. My team and I have been able to perform a song for the students, have worship daily, and on one of my favourite days, spend 4 consecutive hours in the morning worshipping and singing praises to our Almighty Father.
God is so good! He’s taken what I love and am passionate about and given me opportunities to minister, serve, and evangelise. He’s gifted me with the ability to praise and worship through music, and He is emboldening me to use those gifts for the furtherance of His kingdom and for His glory.
I may not be the most skilled guitarist. I may not have the most beautiful voice. I may not be the most passionate worship leader. However, God is showing that that’s OK. He has gifted me, and all I have to do is say “yes” to Him and share my gifts with others.
In Christ,
Cindy
