Currently in: Manila, Philippines
Before I left for Senegal, I had written a letter to myself as part of an exercise. It’s been a week since I’ve gotten to our first country, the Philippines, but I still wanted to take the time to reflect on all the emotions before leaving and revisit it when I come back. Here we go.
Dear self,
You have experienced something that many people don’t have the chance to experience—what it feels like to have friends, family, and acquaintances pour into you again and again and again. What it truly feels like to receive something that can’t be repaid. Again and again and again. From fundraising support to the last-minute moving help to the prayers to the people who stayed up with you all night to help you pack when they could have been sleeping. You asked and expected a little, and you received more than you ever imagined.
I know—you have given yourself pep talks and have asked God for peace but you find yourself clinging to the wrong things. Yes, it’s hard to leave. Sometimes, you doubt if you’re doing the “right” thing but you should be ultimately clinging to God, not the people around you. Easy words to say but hard to let go and actually feel. You know it will be fine in the next week or two when you’re on the field.
For right now, you need to let go of fear. Fear of being forgotten. Fear of things never being the same. Because it is going to change, and it’s going to be for the better. Don’t question it. The Lord delights in those who obey to bring Him glory. It’s going to be so good. It’s going to be so great. Just take a deep breath and trust in Him.
<3 Cindy
