As
I was preparing to embark on The World Race, one of my biggest
struggles in going was missing the wedding of one of my dearest
friends, who is so much more than a friend and sister in Christ to
me, at the end of September. I mentioned her in some of my early
blogs: Lindsay Stewart, soon to be Lindsay Haldeman. We have planned
for years to be at each other’s weddings, and I am not one to easily
go back on my word. Beyond being apart from this woman of God who is
my spiritual twin for such a long period, wrestling with how to both
go on the Race and be at her wedding was one of my greatest struggles
going into the Race. She and I prayed that God would make a way for
both to happen — for me to both go on the Race and be at her
wedding — but given World Race regulations, that did not look
promising. Furthermore, prior to beginning The World Race, I began to
wonder if I could last 11 months on the mission field. Due to these
circumstances and other hesitations in my heart about going on the
Race, I considered switching to a three-month missions trip instead;
yet, transferring funds to do so was not an option. So, I decided to
move forward with the Race and just see how far I could make it. The
first few days of the Race were harder on me than I had anticipated
in being separated from those back home. I also had trouble engaging
in the community of the Race; however, I didn’t want to quit at that
point just because I was having difficulty adjusting. I talked to God
about what He wanted to accomplish in and through me on the Race then
set a goal to make it to Ireland and reassess at that point how
things were going.
As
time progressed, while there were good days regarding the parts I was
struggling with, I felt like overall things were not getting much
better. God was growing and challenging me in wonderful ways, and I
was beginning to connect more with my teammates, but there was still
some disconnect with the community aspect of the Race that I could
not explain. Maybe part of it was my heart being at home more than on
the Race, which continually and increasingly wore on me. Beyond that,
the thought of missing Lindsay’s wedding weighed on me increasingly
hard. By the time I reached Ireland, I was leaning strongly towards
going home at the end of the month. In praying about it, I believed
that God was giving me a choice, that it was up to me whether I
wanted to stay or not; neither choice would be wrong. Given that my
heart had been more at home than on the Race all along, and that I
could not see myself missing Lindsay’s wedding, I told God that I
would prefer to go home. I began voicing my thoughts and
considerations to a few of my teammates (not having said anything
earlier because I didn’t want to make a big deal of something that
might just pass over), and the topic of me going home came up at
feedback soon after. I talked to my teammates about it, as well as my
team leader one-on-one the next day, followed by my squad leaders
later in the day. The fact that I had been praying about this for an
extended period of time and had been struggling before and throughout
the Race was acknowledged. And since my decision was pretty much made
as to what I was going to do, in honor and respect of my teammates I
was advised to leave sooner rather than later. Therefore, I am
leaving tomorrow to return to the States. When my teammates prayed
over me yesterday evening, it was as if a cloud of confusion and
frustration that had been hanging over me dissipated, and a peace
came over me that going home was the right decision. I am thankful
for the time and experiences I have had on the Race and plan on
continuing the relationships that have begun through this community,
which includes being a prayer warrior for my team and squadmates
during their remaining time on the Race. (To my team and squadmates
reading this, I am sorry that I will not be with you for the
remainder of the Race. I want you to know, though, that each of you
have a special place in my heart, and I am thankful for the
relationships that have begun. I will be praying for and following
your journeys via your blogs throughout the remainder of the Race and
intend and hope to reunited with you after the Race and continue
these relationships for years into the future!) However, my time on
the Race is over. While God has grown and taught me a lot over the
last few months, I also believe that He will continue to grow and do
with me what He wants and wills, and use me, regardless of where I
am. I have had a few avenues of ministry in which I have been
involved in the past or have had on my heart since graduating college
this past May, and God placed a vision on my heart this morning about
how to pursue those and other opportunities to which I feel called
upon returning home. I want to thank all of you for your support,
both financially and through prayer, and pray God’s blessings to you
for it! Please continue to pray for my team and squadmates, though.
The remaining financial support I have in my account at this point
will be credited towards AIM’s ministry. If you feel led to
contribute financially beyond this point, please consider supporting
one of my teammates who are not yet fully funded — either Lili
Meija or Rachelle Uribe. It has been a joy and privilege to share
with you my journey, and I invite you to check out my teammates’
blogs to follow the remainder of their journeys on The World Race.
Their blogs are below:
Sydney
Sample: sydneysample.theworldrace.org
Emily
Moss: emilymoss.theworldrace.org
Logan
Kaynes: logankaynes.theworldrace.org
Lili
Meija: lilimeija.theworldrace.org
Rachelle
Uribe: rachelleuribe.theworldrace.org
Brittany
Cox: brittanycox.theworldrace.org
I
will also be continuing a blog of my own at
<cierralynne.wordpress.com> if you would like to continue to
follow my journey with the Lord, what He does in and through me and
the truths He reveals to me. Thank you so much once again, and God’s
blessings to each of you as we all continue to pursue the paths He
has for us in growing and expanding His Kingdom!
Being
confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in
you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.
— Philippians 1:6
